Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year and all the best in 2010

Fuck how i wish that was true and it was next year rather than this year...

Last year (2007) was a fucking bollox year for me with Kirsty leaving after 8 years together and trying and failing to adjust to life on my own. I remember thinking at this time last year that i hoped i would have a better year during 2008....

How wrong i was....

And next year is going to FAR FAR worse... That's not negative thinking that's just the reality with whats coming up for me.

2008 was a shit year, after spiralling out of control after Kirsty left i managed to get quite a serious drug addiction that has left me financially fucked now with bankruptsy procedings currently being finalised. In August i was arrested with shit loads of drugs and so finish the year on police bail pending court. Work found out what had happened so in October i was out of work, just about the time the global financial markets went batshit meaning it's hard trying to find work and slightly pointless with court coming up. No work means no money so the mortgage hasn't been paid in months and am living off £60 a week job seekers allowance...

So 2009 brings for me bankruptsy, along with this comes the repossesion of my house that Kirsty and I bought 5 years ago, court where my solicitor thinks i'll probably get between 2-5 years in prison, continued drug councelling, not being ever to find a job as good as the one i had (ever?).

So i hope everyone else has a good 2009, i'll hopefully have a good 2010...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Guinness World Records

This week pokerstars have their Guinness World Record week so i had a look at some of the current Guiness World Records, not poker related, and some are fucking funny...

It's daft really, I think that it's good to know who the Worlds tallest man is, but he hasn't actually done anything to acheive that whilst it must be quite difficult to eat a 12" Pizza in 1 minute 45.37 seconds like Josh Anderson, which i think is fucking ridiculous..

So here are some of the records i found:

Ken Edwards - Most Cockroaches Eaten

Ken Edwards of Glossop, Derbyshire, England ate 36 cockroaches in one minute on the set of The Big Breakfast, London, England on March 5, 2001.

Why the fuck would you do that????

Elaine Esposito - Longest Coma

37 years then died....

How is this a good thing??? I never saw her get an award on Record Breakers

Michele Santelia - Most Books Typed Backwards

Michele Santelia (Italy) typed backwards 64 books (3,361,851 words, 19,549,382 characters) in their original languages including The Odyssey, Macbeth, The Vulgate Bible and the Guinness World Records Book 2002. Michele put together a 3,78 m (12 ft 4 in) high tower of the books typed. He completed typing backwards the volumes of the Dead Sea scrolls in Ancient Hebrew on 26 July 2007.

Hebrew is written backwards so does this mean he wrote them normally?!?!

Striker - Fastest Car Window opened By a Dog

The fastest time a dog has unwound a non-electric car window is 11.34 seconds and was achieved by Striker, a border collie owned and trained by Francis V. Gadassi (Hungary). The record was set on September 1, 2004 in Queb├ęc City, Canada

I'm sure my ex mrs opened one faster

Robert Foster - Breath Held Voluntarily

The USA's Robert Foster held his breath for 13mins 42.5secs in 1959

VOLUNTARILY!!!! hahahahahahahahahahah I want to know the record for non-voluntary breath holding....

So i hope pokerstars will be proud to sit amongst the ranks of "biggest cookie ever baked" and "Most people to irish dance at the same time" They did for the accolade of course, it had absolutely nothing with trying to generate more rake....

Monday, December 29, 2008

United113 and Joppa Road Star in "The Curse of the United113 Pokerstars Account"

So last night i played in the Pokerstars sunday warm up with one of the tickets i won in the bloggers tournament.

5800 odd entered and with 2400 left (850 paid) I had around 18000 chips when this hand happened that has got me a bit wound up... I'll explain my thinking and please let me know what you think because it's really annoying me...

Blinds are 400/800 and it gets folded round to me on the small blind. I make up the big blind and the big blind thinks about it for a bit and raises to 2400. My thinking here is that the big blind thinks that i have made up the big blind as i already have 400 invested so if he raises he'll get me to fold. As he's done this i plan on making a play on the flop as i can discount him having a premium holding as i don't think he would raise pre flop in that situation with a premium hand. At this point it makes no difference to me what my cards are i'm playing what i think my opponant has but for your information i have 10 5 off.

They have me covered but only just

The flop comes A, 5, 3 Rainbow

They bet 4000 on the flop into a pot of 4400, which i expected them to do and confirmed to me what i thought they had done pre flop. If they had hit a premium hand such as trip aces then i would expect a check and slow play with only 2 left in the hand. Even though i had made 2nd pair it didn't really have a big effect on what i was going to do with the situation i thought i was in..

I pushed with my remaining 15,600 or so.

Now with a a, 5, 3 flop there are so many hands i think they have to fold now, as i said i'd taken into consideration that they would be virtually all in so it was a decision for their tournament. I think they have to fold JJ,QQ,KK even is this situation, although i didn't believe them to have that.

They CALL......

Now here if they flip 33 or 55 or AA or i've read it wrong and fucked up then fine, but when they turn over K3 off i really can't believe it. I should be happy as i'm ahead and the hand has been played exactly they way i thought it had and they should have folded to the push with me picking up a nice pot but no...

King falls on the river and i'm eliminated.

How can you look at king 3 with that push and think it's good? It really makes no sense to me at all. What can you think you are beating??? There are so many hands that you are losinbg to, there's not much that you think you can beat!!! The other things that amazes me is that this is a $215 entry tournament thats once a week. It's not some freerole or $1 MTT or STT you can join again if you make a mistake..

Seriously can someone please explain the K3 call to me???

I was pissed of after that so i contacted Joppa Road and asked if he wanted to play the Sunday Million last night on my account and split the winnings. Joppa then hit my curse of being the unluckiest person alive when he hit the nut straight on the turn only to get his all in called by another muppet wanting to hit a heart on the river which duly arrived knocking him out after he was threatening to cash...

I have some advice, if you are ever on pokerstars and see a player called United113 playing and he goes all in pre flop, call with any holding as that seems to be a sure fire way to win the hand...

EDIT - Just been knocked out of a $1 rebuy on Ipoker. 60 left out of 740 and i'm 4th in chips and get dealt KK, tournament leader who is hyper aggressive goes all in and i call to get beaten by J8off. What the fuck is going on??????? I win that hand i have double the next person in chips and am in a great position for the $630 1st prize. But no i get $9 for 3 hours work. What the fuck is going on seriously??? I'm not going to play poker anymore it's fucking bollocks, this happens EVERY time

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sunday Warm up

Well i'm using on of the $215 tournament entries i won in the blogger tournament in the sunday warm up at the moment... I do wish my luck would hold up sometimes....

I've just had QQ busted by 88 on a 6 high flop with an 8 on the turn, am now down to about 9,000 from a starting stack of 10,000.. average is 12257 and there are 4765 left out of 5836... Why do i always seem to lose these types of pots???

Will let you know how badly i do....

EDIT - hahahahaahahah Very next hand all in and my JJ beats QQ, should moan more often...

Joppa - United113 am currently on table 62



Is everyone a fucking idiot?!?!?!

How the fuck can he call that??? Lucky Lucky bastard...

(am out by the

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I like your blog....

Friday, December 26, 2008

Yipee Kiya Mother Fucker...

Well yesterday was rubbish. I somehow managed to watch 7 films... Bean, Shark Tale, Wallace and Gromit and The Curse of the Wererabbit, Transporter 3 and Die Hard 1, 2 and 3 back to back...

Today i went to the pub with my mate at 1 to watch the united v stoke game and stayed to watch soccer (friday) saturday and the arsenal villa game and then kind of stayed there till about half ten.. Whilst there a girl came in and said "happy Jesus Day" and continued to say that boxing day was special as it's the day jesus died... Now i'm not religious at all but had a good laugh at this girls expense...

Am a bit pissed now so AM NOT going to play any poker!!! I might watch die hard 4.0 though...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I hate christmas....

I'm not one for really celebrating christmas.... I haven't sent any cards, bought any presents and bollox to putting a tree or any decorations up. None of my family do really, my mum will probably come over christmas day and we'll have salmon for lunch like last year and be fuck bored all day... You can't get away from it, fucking Cliff Richard bastard songs being played in tesco and christmas shit everywhere... grrrrrr.... Christmas eve at the pub should be good, will get shitfaced and hopefully sleep through christmas, if santa visits my house he'll probably get smacked, me thinking that he is a debt collector from barclaycard coming to take stuff away....

Poker front got fucked out of the blogger final by a retard who should have been playing in the para olympic poker thats next week i think, or all the time apparantly on the Ipoker network... i HATE playing on there as i want to headbutt the wall whenever i play... Will probably play the sunday million this week and not cash as usual....

I've not got councelling for a few weeks and the courts are shut so i know i won't be in court till at least the end of january which is good, am kind of seeing my neighbour which is nice, especially good when you have no car it's not far to travel, not that thats why i'm seeing her of course she's lovely....

Apart from that nothing much going on, went to woolworths again and they had the pick and mix at half price... but as in the rest of the store, only the shit was left...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Blogger Final

Well the final of the blogger tournament starts in about an hour. There are 369 entrants and prizes for top 100 so hopefully i'll do well.

It's strange how i seem to get into a comfort zone of WHERE i feel ok playing. I'm staying at my brothers this weekend so will be playing on my mums laptop whilst sat with my brother, sister in law and mum. It was like this last night and couldn't really get into it. I did have Amatay on my table before i busted and it was a good crack.

Because of the whole comfort zone thing i decided not to play in the sunday warm up or Sunday million this week with the 2 x $215 tournament tickets i won on the blogger qualifier earlier in the week so i might have a pop at one or the other next week.

I'll let you know how i get on but qualification however unlikely for the PCA would be beautiful. I've been to the Atlantis resort on paradise island before with the ex misses and it's nice. To be honest it may bring back some bad memories so maybe an EPT entry would be better... Am not sure i'll be let in the bahamas, i don't think i'll be allowed to the states ever again....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tonight's Qualifier

Well i spuuuuuunked out early tonight it was so frustrating.... I had around 6,000 chips with an average or 4,000 and there was a knobhead player at the table called Poker Magican who had been raising all in everyhand with premium holdings like 42off and 39sooooted. He had hit sooooo many flops so when i had AQ he raised as usual and i pushed and he called with 77 which held up.... I'm pissed off as i wouldnt have done that against anyone else and should have looked for a better opportunity and played the hand better......

Respect must go to Joppa Rd who finished 7th the other night in the NLHE qualifier out of 559 to win the same as me in a sunday gold package, he finished 16th out of 538 tonight for a step 3 ticket as well... good results...

The top ranking brits tonight were TheUKshark in 6th, PR)_rANDY in 9th and utdroad in tenth. utdroad had just said "it doesn't make a difference if you win does it?".. i was just responding "you want to finish in the top 9" when he busted... i didn't send it.....


Well i couldn't be arsed staying up to play the WBCOOP qualifier last night it wouldn't have finished till stupid times this morning and i had to be in Norwich for councelling at 12.30. I'll play the NLHE one tonight at 7.00.

I like the structure of these tournaments, i do much better in deep stack tournies for some reason and the 2500 starting chips and blind structures suit my play.

I've just found out that a girl i went to school with has got a download single out on itunes this week. They're trying to chart and the songs good... however due to shite factor you probably need "hallelujah" in the song title to chart this week, it's going to be in the chart 3 times with 3 peoples versions...

I had a bit of a result, my next door neighbour is moving away from her husband in January so i've said she can have all my furniture on kind of permanent loan which saves me putting it in storage whilst i'm inside.. as long as i get it back...

Anyway follow the link below for the single from my friend, what do you think??? If you like it download it from itunes, it's called "drained" and the band are Kenelis.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

World Blogging Championship Of Online Poker

Well i ended up finishing 3rd out of 559 in the NLHE 2nd qualifier for the World Blogging Championship Of Online Poker last night and won a a "Sunday Majors Gold Package" Which consists of 2 x $215 tournament tickets.

I started off just wanting to qualify but as it got to the last 72 was in the top 10 in chips and was really pushing for the win. The final table started and to be honest i don't think i was playing very well till we got down a bit and then i started to be more aggressive and things started to happen. I ended up being knocked out when KK wasn't good enough against AQ all in pre flop but to be honest i'd hit a few flops earlier so was probably deserved.

This is what the pokerstars blog said of it:

One hundred and forty-two people now have their seats for Sunday's PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker Main Event thanks in part to Tuesday's Event #2.
The top 72 players in WBCOOP's second event earned their place in the Main Event. Tuesday's no-limit hold'em contest drew 559 of the world's poker playing bloggers. As we've mentioned, this year WBCOOP is made up of six preliminary qualifiers and one Main Event. Each of the qualifying events awards 72 final seats plus thousands off dollars in prizes.

Event #2 took more than five hours to play out and saw tons of familiar names from the blogging community. Notable poker bloggers Easycure, Rakewell1, NumbBono, gadzooks64, and Loretta8 all made it to the top 72 and earned their seats in the Main Event. Top honors, however, went to the United States' malice51 who not only made it to the final, but also picked up three $215 tournament tickets, one $530 tournament ticket and a $11 tournament ticket (aka, Sunday Majors Platinum Package).

Here's how the final table broke down.
1. malice51 (United States) -- Sunday Majors Platinum Package
2. Baba_Jin (Israel) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
3. United113 (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
4. MemphisM0J0 (United States) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
5. WMZeus (United States) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
6. WILLdaHAMMER (Canada) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
7. Joppa Rd (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
8. maka818 (Spain) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
9. Would-Be83 (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package

If you're an eligible blogger, you still have time to qualify for this weekend's Main Event. Top prizes include a full PokerStars Caribbean Adventure package and a chance to play on the European Poker Tour.

Here''s what the full Main Event prize pool looks like.

1st--PokerStars Caribbean Adventure prize package - worth $14,300
2nd--European Poker Tour prize package + SCOOP Main Event ticket + Step 6 ticket - worth $11,100
3rd--European Poker Tour prize package - worth $7,500
4th--SCOOP Main Event ticket + Step 6 ticket - worth $3,675
5th--Step 6 ticket - worth $2,100
6th--SCOOP Main Event ticket - worth $1,575
7th--$1,050 Tournament entry
8th--Step 5 ticket9th--$530 Tournament entry
10th-18th--$320 Tournament entry
19th-27th--$215 Tournament entry
28th-45th--$109 Tournament entry46th-100th--Step 3 ticket
Event #3 of WBCOOP kicks off later tonight. The 22:00ET event is an Omaha 8/b event and will award another 72 seats to the final.
Congrats to the first 142 Main Event players and good luck to everyone tonight

There was a good table crack as well. Thanks must go To Ukgatsby who was observing and chatting. It was his blog that made me aware of the WBCOOOP so i wouldn't have played in it if not for him so thanks. And if you've not read the blog you should..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Well i took my first punt at the World Blogger Championships of online poker yesterday playing the PLO qualifier. 450 entrants top 782 qualify for the final one 21st and top 45 or so get prizes. I was doing alright was above average with about 180 left running around 40th when i was dealt AAQQ clubs and diamonds. Flop came A 4 9 rainbow and i got the table big stack all in on the flop. He called with AKxx thinking he had aces witha king but ended up hitting runner runner for the flush. so many people playing hold em hands too strong in omaha.

I'm now an hour and a half into the 2nd qualifier (hold em). again top 72 qualify for the final and 45 get other prizes. Am 84th out of 251 with just above average stack..

Friday, December 12, 2008

Super Mario Bros

Well instead of playing poker i've found a great way of entertaining myself, type super mario bros into google and you can play mario 1, 2 and 3 from the old NES platform. How the hell i remember where all the warp zones and mushrooms are in beyond me seeing as the last time i played it was probably in 1990.

I watched Hancock and Batman Dark night recently which were both good, especially batman and went to see ocean colour scene that was a laugh. After oceon colour scene we ended up in Liquid a club in Norwich, fuck me it was funny... Now i'm not the greatest dancer but we were having a giggle at this bloke on the dancefloor and, i know this is wrong and you shouldn't laugh, but there was a women in a motorised wheel chair on the dancefloor and i'm sure the DJ put "spinning around" on on purpose... she was enjoying herself though which is the main thing but it was fucking funny...

I've registered for the pokerstars blogger tournament, i was useless in it last year but hopefully will do better this year, even though if i win i won't be able to go on the carribean adventure or an EPT but i could do with killing some time for 20 minutes before i get knocked out..

I was in town for councelling yesterday with my mum and she said "let's go to woolworths" as there's a big one in norwich at an out of town shopping centre. It was absolute chaos inside, and no wonder they're shutting down, everything in there is shit. I did check to see if the pick and mix was half price but it wasn't and they had hardly discounted the things you'd actually look for like DVD's, pick and mix, CD's, pick and Mix, PS3's and the pick and mix. My mum was going to buy some stationary but then saw the queue and though bollllllox to that.. I was going to ask someone if they had any jobs going but thought that would be mean

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

The WBCOOP is an online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers.

Registration code:



Monday, December 08, 2008

Bored Bored Bored

Well 've not updated for a bit, i've not really done anything of note to update about..

I've not heard anything new from court or my solicitor, i've not been able to find a job and it's getting to be a bad time of year to be looking. I have now been approved for job seekers allowance so £60.50 a week is now being paid directly into my mums account.

Am trying not to pay poker, my mates mansion account has dropped to about £70, some stupid beats and i think i'm playing so badly i just can't motivate myself to play.

I think i'm going to see Ocean Colour Scene at the UEA tonight which should be good!!

Apart from that just been sat at home doing nothing, i'm soooo bored... Right, its twenty past ten i think i'll eat some biscuits...