Sunday, December 19, 2010

I need a girlfriend


I really need a girlfriend. It was our work Christmas Party on Tuesday (Which made the BBC national news in a completely unrelated story - That's me in the leather jacket walking in at the start) and I spoke to loads of girls from work but didn't really pick any specific girl so was just walking round to talking to everyone all night. Then at the end of the night am still on my own as I haven't really made a decision on which girl i like the most.... The party was a laugh though and it went well thankfully as i'd organised it. I'd booked a hotel in Norwich as it would be easier to get to work the next day, i got back to the hotel at 0300 and the facking front door to the hotel was locked. I was banging on the door and calling the hotel and ended up getting let in at 4 which was a pisser as i had to be in work at 0830 the next morning...

It's weird, I really don't like being at home at the moment. Normally people want to get to the weekend and don't like working. I'm the opposite, I like being at work and dread the weekends. All i do is sit and play poker and get really bored....

There is a secondment into a management position coming up at work which i think i'll apply for. It's about an extra £3k a year which will come in really really handy and it'll be good moving into management. The only problem is there will probably be around 70 people applying for it so i'll just have to see how it goes.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Full Tilt Cashout Procedure

Well poker rooms normally get on my nerves. All they care about is rake generation and have never been of assistance when I have contacted their customer service departments. Full Tilt have now annoyed me....

When you deposit on Full Tilt the minimum deposit you can make is $10 which is pretty standard for poker rooms. The minimum withdrawal amount however is $50. How is it fair to let people deposit $10 but then not allow them to withdraw it? I'm sure thats not the same as other poker rooms.

I contacted customer service and they said that it was the processors that state what the minimum and maximums are for deposits and withdrawals? That's got to be blatant lie doesn't it? Unless all poker rooms would have the same minumum and maximum deposits. They basically said that you need to deposit more money and then withdraw it. I told them they were basically forcing people to play if the couldn't take their money out and they said that you'd need to deposit MORE money to be able to withdraw it!! Surely that's not morally right....

So I had about $35 in my account and had 4 or 5 emails back and forth with their customer service department, the last one saying "we can't help you, you either have to deposit more money or use the money at the tables" (which i'm probably going to forward to the regulators) and then suddenly went on a 5 minute mega heater simultaneously on 4 rush tables to take me over $50 and could withdraw my money..... Coincidence?!?!?!?!?!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010


Well went to bruges the other weekend for shits and giggles with a couple of people from work. Had a really good time, Bruges was lovely and met a load of new people on nights out.

Not been up to much apart from that. Been working alot and went out for a few drinks and a meal with friends on saturday to a restaurant called "The Library" in Norwich. I think i'm banned from there now after climbing up the shelves on the wall to get a balloon and generally annoying all the staff.... It's our work christmas do on tuesday next week and there will be 250 people out so it should be a laugh...

On the poker front, been playing low limit rush, breaking even... boring x

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Klaxons and Ash

Friday night I managed to rope a couple of people from work into going to see the Klaxons at the local university. I've seen them before and they were really good. It was strange to see it full of kids though? I didn't really mind but they average age in there was probably 16. The reverse shocked me on Saturday night when I went to see Ash at the 02 Shepherds Bush Empire. There were 2 girls there who were 15 and I thought it was strange that they even knew who ash were!. Ash were good but the more I go and see them and the more material they release the more dissapointed I get when I see them live. They plkay the new stuff which I want to hear, but then they don't play any longer so they miss a load of the old stuff. Both good though and a great weekend, Athlete next week....

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Outing Full Tilt player Goldengravy as a goat rapist

Well the DOOMSWITCH is still well and truly pressed.

Gave up tonight when i'd dropped my 4th buy in with the hand below.

Note to player Goldengravy if you ever google yourself and end up here, which to be honest all fucktards like you do... You are a dick, a complete dick. Have a look at the hand below and see how you played it and please comment on your thoughts during your call... I'm betting you won't as you realise your a useless cunt

Monday, November 08, 2010


There are some cunts playing low limit rush.

Complete cunts

Well I hit the doomswitch with my last post. Was doing ok until I played a HUSNG yesterday and everytime the slovakian cunt i was playing hit or got lucky was just laughing in the chat box so i ended up getting pissed off and ripped into him for being a slovakian peasant retard. He called the MOD in the end and i got warned and have been doomswitched ever since.... coincidence?!?!? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Dropped about 8 buys in. AA cracked AIPF twice. KK v AA twice. My favourite was when i 3bet pre with AQ got called by villian and initial raiser folded. Flop 5 8 Q rainbow all goes in and he flips Q5 off.. What a useless cunt. When the doomswitch hits though it's really harsh... Never hit flops, overcards when you've raise high pairs, villians flush draws always seem to get there and yours seem to miss.

Q5 though.... What a prick.

Bankroll - $52.41

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Rush Going Well

I had $5 in Full Tilt so I've been playing Rush trying to boost it up as I won't add any more money to any site. I've been playing $0.02/$0.05 - 6 Max Rush and been doing well following a disciplined approach. I play pocket pairs all the time. Low pairs I try and see a cheap flop with as many people as possible so if you hit a set you get paid often, however you can let it go if you miss. I've also not been speculating and cleared a few leaks in my game such as not playing back against the SB if raised etc etc. I've been trying to do basic things more and am playing very very few hands from the blinds an opened up my raising range from the button. I've also started 3 bet folding more. At low limits i've found when you get 4 bet it's against QQ + so have been folding more pre flop.

Will keep an update of Bankroll

Started with $5

Current (Including recent $8 RB payment) - $94.08

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends
I must stop getting involved with my mates sisters and ex girlfriends

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Monday, October 18, 2010

United are Rubbish

The footballs all a bit weird at the moment. United are shit.. I've never seen superb players turn and stay shit for such a long time in Rooney and Torres. Blackpool looked like Real Madrid against Shitty yesterday at times but Shitty lucked it. Liverpool are absolutely useless at the moment. They have signed so many players in the last few years for a lot of money that have turned out to be useless. Poulsen? Skrtel? Ngog? Konchesky? Would they get anywhere near Arsenal, United or Chelski? Apart from possibly gerrard, there are no players I can see that play for Liverpool that would get in the Chelsea team at the moment. I don't think they'll get relegated, but then they can't buy that many decent players due to the Financial FAir play test UEFA has put in place from 2012 which'll knacker City from competing in european competitions....

Not much else been happening... Been trying to save money for no apparant reason. Went out saturday and my moral compass went haywire once i'd had a drink which wasn't good..I need to stop drinking I think....

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Back on Boss

I added £10 onto Virgin Poker. That's really where I started playing years ago before they joined the Boss network. I really liked their old software apart from the fact the traffic was really low. I've been playing only HUSNG, either 1 euro PLO or playing 4 players NLHE 1 euro games. I've now withdrawn the original stake and have about £14 left in the site.

DOes anyone else play on boss?? I really like it..

Saturday, October 09, 2010

I am a bear....

Well my life will hit new lows on Tuesday when i have to dress up in a bear costume and walk round work. We're one of the centres that take calls for Children In Need so am dressing as pudsey. Is a huge thing trying to get 250 volunteers to man the phones, sort out prizes for a raffle and try and get some celebrities in. When you think of celebrities in Norfolk you don't really get past Delia or Stephen Fry. I spoke to Stephen Fry's assistant and he can't come in, We may be getting "We are scientists" come in if they'll come after they finish a local gig. Justin Hawkins we're trying to get in touch with and some Ex Norwich Shitty players.

On the Poker front, Have got my money finally released from neteller and am going to withdraw most of it to go on holiday. I stuck money back on Virgin. I actually think it's the best network for fish and low limit games so will just play $1 SNG.

Anyway if anyone has any good ideas for prizes for a raffle let me know...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Check this one out....!

Am playing as Googlemomma on stars

Saturday, September 18, 2010

increased my bankroll by 15 times in 1 day

It's true! But not as exciting as you may think...

All my poker funds still it neteller but managed to cash in a freerole on stars yesterday and won a massive $0.65 which was my entire bank roll. So i put my whole roll (lol) on a linit 0.02/0.04 table and then played super micro limit NLHE and PLO and have built it up to a massive $10 today. The standard on those games is really really poor. Have not even been concentrating on massively multi tabling. Have watched every episode of the inbetweeners on the laptop and started on the last episode ok skins today as well. I think i'll stay at the micro limit 6 max NLHE tables as the standard is below poor.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


1. Neteller = Wank
2. Man Utd v Rangers = Wank
3. Pope = Wanker
4. Work = Wank
5. N-Dubz = Wank
6. Peggy Mitchell leaving Eastenders - Wank
7. Women - Wank
8. Poker - Wank
9. Car - Wank

That is all

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Reason why am not playing

I've actually like not being able to get my money out of neteller and not playing. Played a few MTTSNG the other day with the RTR syndicate winnings and didn't really enjoy it. I think if i'm going to play ever i'll just play the odd MTT. I'd like to play alot but have realised this is for money and the issues i have with this are as follows:

1. Am not good enough
2. Tilt to much
3. Have better things to be doing with my time

Years ago "back in the day" i could grind $20 HUSNG and make a decent ROI (would have been higher if i didn't keep making bad attempts at the $50's) however the games are much tougher now with more software aids/forums. I can't grind as i have a full time job and i think's thats my main problem. I COULD grind all night at MTTSNG or HUSNG. Say i play 2/180's on stars and make a 20% ROI and play 20 a night i can make $8 a day. For the length of time that would take I really have things that I would rather spend my time doing. If I could play the 12/180 and make 30% ROI and make $72 a night then that's a different story, however i don't have the bankroll/ability to do that. I can't even be bothered trolling through websites to improve as i think my natural ability is going to be limited. Some people are generally cautious, some aggresive and I think the way your personality makes you a better or worse player, and i think it's hard to change that. I think i'll play MTT if i have spare time/am bored but nothing else.

Monday, August 23, 2010


How do the pro's work when they multitable? How many games at a time will they be playing? Do they play 16 games at a time and every time they're out load another game? Or play blocks, so load 16 games and wait till they finish and then start another 16 games? How many games a day of say 45 man MTTSNG will they play in a day?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Fifa are USELESS

So no goal line technology says Twat Blatter but now this:

Sepp Blatter says Fifa is considering scrapping draws at the group stage of future World Cup finals by introducing penalty shoot-outs after 90 minutes.

Blatter, president of world football's governing body, is known for voicing radical ideas on changing the game.

He wants to put an end to defence-minded teams playing to get a draw.

First point - It will make more teams play defensive as they can effectively win by drawing. Practice penalties, then play for a draw. Blatter you are a DICK

Sunday, August 08, 2010


I'm an idiot

I always think about things but never actually do them. I still can't work out what to do with my life, I might try and take divemaster qualifications in scuba diving and see if i can get a job somewhere tropical teaching scuba diving. I really want to travel and work abroad. TEFL english teaching isn't going to happen as you need a degree, I can't just "travel" as i get paid fuck all money so don't know what to do.

Have played a few tournies recently in the raise the river syndicate and min cashed for around $35.00. it's sick to come 105th out of 4700 after 5 hours and get piss all but that's the way it go's. Am still doing not bad playing micro limit holdem, it's shocking that people can be that bad....

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Low limit PLO

The micro limit NLHE games on stars are stupid. You raise with a premium hand and get 4 callers and have no idea where you are for the rest of the hand as you know you're getting called with any two cards. Even if you raise all in you still get sucked out with people calling with anything. Playing PLO is different however. People play PLO as if they're playing NLHE at the micro limits. They'll get dealt AKxx and think that's a premium hand. Also because you hit the nuts far more often in PLO and people play top pair and 2 pair strongly (as they are playing like NLHE and think these are strong hands) then you can make good progress. I see a lot of flops cheap and love playing hands like 9d 10c jd qc to smash people's AAxx. I'm playing 0.01/0.02 and have made about $10 in 2 days..

Sunday, August 01, 2010

No Further on

I was looking at doing a TEFL course to be able to teach english overseas but looking at the jobs advertised on their website, they all wanted people with university degrees. I still can't work out what to do. I might try and get back into scuba diving and see if i can become a divemaster and then maybe teach scuba diving overseas.

After me saying i was going to stay off the drink I ended up getting shitfaced again last night. I really need to find another way to get my kicks. My life's so boring the only excitement I get is at a weekend... I really need to get my arse in gear and do something..

Friday, July 30, 2010

Funny News

Five thousand unsold 24-carat gold limited edition Frank Lampard signature iPods are to be melted down and rebranded into ones featuring cartoon character Hello Kitty.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

off the drink

I think i'm going to stop drinking and try and get my kicks in other ways. As i said in my last post, i think it's dull just working all week and then getting shitfaced at the weekend. I went out yesterday for a works party. There were about 250 people from work there. I had been getting on really well with a girl from work and there was another girl from work who i'd had a kiss and a cuddle with the other week. The first girl annoyed me when she just was sat talking to this dickhead all night. The other girl i'd kissed basically saw me getting pissed of and was being really nice saying i shouldn't be bothered and then i felt like a wanker to her....

Have still been looking for exciting things to do. After meteoric mentioned VSO i had a look on their website. I had also randomly spoke to a really interesting bloke on the bus from stansted last week who ran a charity called global map aid that has desmond tutu as their patron (as it turns out he was in my village the day after and his friends telephone number was 1 digit away from mine). It was the same outcome speaking to him about charity work overseas then i found on the VSO website and the medicines sans frontiers website which is that you really need a skill to be worthwhile to overseas aid organisations. I could help build an orphanage for example, but anyone can do that can't they, they might as well just get local people to do that. I know the obvious answer would be to train for something but they want 6 years experience of doing whatever you train in so if I train now i should be able to do overseas volunteering in about 8 years..

I'd just got lax in my previous job before i got in all the trouble. I was earnng good money, had a brand new BMW, had a nice house with a really affordable mortgage, fit misses and life was good, i didn't need anything else. Now though with the criminal conviction I'm finding my options are limited and that I really need a skill to do anything. I looked today at bomb disposal jobs in the Army but I'll have to be really quick as you can only join until you're 32 which I'll be in February. I looked at Navy Submarines but wouldn't get there with an unspent criminal conviction.

I really just don't seem to fit in anywhere. Everyone at work is 19/20 and see their job as a career and enjoy getting shitfaced all the time and having a laugh. I see the job as something I have to do as I can't get anything else and hate it. I was looking for jobs overseas again and may do a TEFL course to teach english abroad. I was looking for jobs in Vietman and saw this which sounded brilliant:


We are offering an interesting job for acquired sport fans in a freelancer position. They have to attend sport venues for gathering sport statistics and real time providing. We will need local freelancer scouts, who are living close to the venues. The applicants have to be reliable and communicative.

Please contact us for further information regarding the job.

- Attending of top class sport events
- Payment on each single event
- Reimbursement of expenses regarding the duty

- Fluent in spoken and written English
- Good knowledge in Vietnamese sports. You don´t need to be an expert. But you have to know the rules and the teams.
- Achievable and common with modern communication devices (You will get frequent mails, SMS)
- Cell phone with at least 1 additional battery
- Mobility
- Applicant currently has to live in Vietnam
Job Types

* Comm (Radio, TV, & Film)
* Journalism
* Sports


- We pay 35,00 Euro per standard sport event (single match at a venue). Additionally we will reimburse ticket and transport expenses.
Experience Required


But need to live in Vietnam!!!

This would do me PERFECTLY:


Your application will be answered only if you send the application documents and indication position you are applying for. Your English Language standard and who you are will be judged by how you apply.

SALAAM School works with marginalized communities to make vocational training opportunity available for youth who do not have much choices for further studies. Our work helps to reduce youth poverty, support families on low income, to reduce crime and prevent young people from drugs

In this job you are provided food, accommodation, transportation (travel between the islands), medicals, and a work permit. You will work locations (atolls) assigned to you in Maldives

You are offered USD 400.00 net per month and a contribution on USD 400 towards your ticket.

Please know that you will need to be flexible, self-initiating, tolerant and friendly but firm and you will need to be effective in your communication and encouraging to the young people we are dealing with. Your challenge will lie in motivating those who are less inclined through tapping their creativity.

You need to be creative yourself and think of activities within your training modules that will create fun and interesting learning.We are not judgmental in our approach.

This opportunity is only between 1st March to 30th April 2010.

Anyone on to Poker. I can't get money out of neteller so haven't played for ages. I managed to get $5.50 together for a Raise the River syndicate game and cashed for about $11.50. I was pissed of today... I played an 8 game freeroll (NLHE,PLO hi/lo,PLO, LHE, razz, 2-7, limit stud and limit stud hi lo) there were 6000 entrants and it lasted for hours and top 48 won, I ended up getting knocked out after hours in about 80th which was annoying. I really need to try and get the neteller money out so i can play a bit more

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bored bored BORED

So bored with life right now.

I've just come back from a holiday in Cap Salou where my sister works. Had a good laugh out there and saw a load of old friends and it bought back some memories of when i used to work out there.

Now i'm back at work speaking to wankers all day selling insurance.

I really need to do something exciting with my life. Something daft maybe. I have been googling things like "security guard jobs Iraq" and "Navy mine clearance diver" to see what comes up but struggle with experience and criminal record. I don't like what the army stands for, but it might be an exciting thing to do to join. I think that's really what I need in Life, it's not money it's excitement and the sense of adventure. That's whats really killing me at the moment. Life is just mundane... Wake up, go to work, speak to wankers all day, come home, eat dinner, go to bed... and repeat daily. i haven't got money to travel and don't want my life to be saving for 6 months for a fortnight of excitement on holiday.

Any ideas on daft jobs that are exciting would be appreciated

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Radical Idea

England at the World Cup were a joke. The players are supposed to be the best in the world but were useless together as a team.

When i train with young 16-17 year olds for my local team. The best players always want to play together. I always get the not so good players together and tell them it's ok we will play together and just say "you pick any 11 and i'll have the rest". What then happens is I organise my team with 4 defenders, 4 midfielders, 2 strikers and a keeper and am always shouting telling my team where to stand and who to mark. the other team don't do that and play with 11 attackers. Who do you think wins? The team with the best players or the team that's organised? The team that's organised every time.

This World cup has shown with Holland, Germany, Uruguay and many others that if you have a good TEAM then that can win over talented players who don't want to play with each other. My Idea for England is as follows...

Qualification as usual..

Then a year before the world cup, go round the clubs and pick your world cup squad from the best youth players that currently don't play in the first team squad. Pay their wages and get them all together playing together. They will then have time to develop as a team and learn to play with each other. The clubs benefit in the same way as if the players were out on loan. You wouldn't need to pay a manager £5million a year! Then put those players into the tournament and see how they do. An organised talented side that have played together for a year, how do you think they would do? And do you think we'd have done better if we'd done that this time??!? Definately

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Three Peak Challenge

Am doing the 3 Peak Challenge on the 23/24th August for Brain Tumour UK.

The 3 peak challenge is climbing the 3 highest peaks in England Scotland and Wales in a 24 Hour period. Scafell Pike, Ben Nevis and Snowdon...

Am training at the moment but need sponsorship!!! Please sponsor me via the widget on the right.

Monday, June 28, 2010

My 2 Cents

England.. What a load of shit.

i was watching the game with friends and nobidy mentioned this but we were screaming at the TV. In the first half before the goals, everytime we got the ball we were looking left for the width on the wing, however Gerrard was always sat in the centre of midfield. ashley cole kept getting in trouble as gerrard's instinct is to go inside.

Capello is useless in my opinion. For a start, the goalkeeper wo had the best year at club level by miles was Joe Hart. He played in the friendlies and looked confident. who do we start with? Robert Green who made more unforced errors in the premier league last year than Hart OR James. Then we have Terry playing on the wrong side of the central defence. How can we not even get that right? How hard to find a left sided Centre back to play alongside? For 10 years england fans have KNOWN that Gerrard and Lampard can't play in the same team yet we still play Gerrard right wing.

Green makes 1 error and gets dropped. Upson has 1 alright game against fucking SLOVENIA and we keep him in against the Germans when Capello had already proved with his original selections that Carragher and King were his first two choices. What heppens? Our defense is all over the place. We have Rooney playing with another striker that he is not used to doing. We have Heskey who can't score. We don't play crouch who has the best goal to game ratio of anyone in the squad. We play Milner because Defoe managed to get on the end of a cross against Slovenia. Who is he crossing to?! Rooney and Defoe are hardly renowned for aerial ability. When rooney layed on milner the other day and he didn't score, who else was shouting WALCOTT?! So who were our best players in the tournament? James? Ashley Cole? Johnson? See anything familiar with those players?? They are the only players playing in their normal fucking club position!!

Then there is the tactics. It is IMPOSSIBLE in my opinion to set yourself up tactically for a game when the players DO NOT KNOW who is playing in the match. did we do anything special tactically for the Germany game? Or did we just play the same team who did ok against Slovenia?

I think when players autobiographies come out in a few years they will slate the Capello regime. We now need to rebuild. Any players who won't play in the world Cup should now retire and start trying to get some younger players playing. Not that we have any coming through.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Green Day and England

Am so tired.....

Went to watch the England game at the pub Friday and was depressed when it finished. All Robert green'd fault in my opinion but am not going to talk about that shit. After the football finished a few of my mates said "shall we go out for a couple in Norwich?" Why not.... Well I ended up getting back to my mates where i was staying at about 5.30. I had to get up about 10 to go to London to see Green Day at Wembley Stadium. I got up alright, we were banging on my other mates door for ages before he finally got up.

Driving down i felt seriously bad. I really wpuld have preferred just to go home and back to bed at that point!! We ended up parking at Redbridge and getting the tube in but thought the tube would have stopped before we got back but didnt really care as we'd get back somehow. We got to Wembley and it was already quite bust at about 1730:

So we got a couple of drinks and watched the support bands in the middle then when green day came on, went over the top of everyone to get to the front of the main area, where the V is you can see on the photo. The concert was amazing. They are such a good band to see live. We were all jumping around as usual and they played for 3 hours. If anyone hasn't seen them live you should, really really good. This is a video i found on youtube

Anyway we ended up getting back to the station on time and got home about 230 so am just going to sit and watch the football today and do nothing.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

World Cup

Well it's been rubbish hasn't it?

It was good to see the Ivory Coast and Portugal play for a draw and just see who can beat North Korea by the most goals. So many draws and nobody has been that good. Germany were alright but Australia were absolutely useless.

To give my opinion on england... I really don't like Capello's policy of telling the players 2 hours before kick off who is playing. I saw an interview with Alex Ferguson once and he was asked "What do you say to the players before kick off?" he replied "I don't see the players the morning of the game, if they don't know what they're supposed to be doing just before the game then we have no chance". I would hope that the players NOW would know if they're playing friday, and know exactly what they're supposed to be doing.

Also, there was all this talk about squad selection. Why take Dawson and Upson if when King gets injured we're going to play Carragher? Surely we wasting a player?! Take Dawson incase King, Carragher and Upson get injured? Alot has been said about Joe Cole not coming on for Milner (who was a waste of time) and Robert Green (who would have been my 3rd choice keeper). If we win the group, then not only do we miss germany, we also get a not bad Quarter Final of probably France who didn't look all that, however I'm not convinced we're good enough to win the tournament.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Work is Shit

My job selling car insurance is shit. You really get treated like shit all day and speak to wankers all day. You really get so many wankers calling. Old men are the worse...

"Can i take your first name please?"
"Your first name please?"
"Sorry sir i need to take your name for the insurance certificate"
"well i don't see why you need that but it's jonathan"

and you know it's going to be a shit call.

I had a women moaning at me the other day asking why her insurance quote was so high. She had a "causing death by dangerous driving" on her record. I wanted to say "Someone paid for your driving with their life"

Someone today was moaning asking why they paid £500 for annual insurance last year and this year it's gone up to £1000. She said "I did have a claim worth £7000 in March but it shouldn't put it up that much should it?" talk sense women...

Hopefully it'll be quiet during the football. I'm looking around for other work but there's nothing about. I still might just go to mexico and work on a boat like my sister did.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Saturday Night Fun

I went out in Norwich last night with a few friends from work and a few mates from where i live. I the first bar we went in my mate was at the bar and started speaking to a bloke at the bar. As soon as this bloke said he worked at the same place as me my mate said "Do you like it there? My mate Matt fucking hates it"... Turns out it was my boss... brilliant.

Earlier on in the day at work i'd had one of them flirty "Are you out tonight?" conversation with one of the managers and she started ringing me off one of my mates phones and I met up with her and some other people from work. This girl models in her spare time and is super fit and If she does like me, she only likes me as we work together as she wouldn't look at me twice if we just met in a pub. I was being really stupid about things and actually being sensible for once and thinking "I'm 31 and she's 20" but i really shouldn't be worrying about things like that. We went to get into another club and I lost her and didn't have her number so couldn't meet her again later but i'll keep trying to see how it goes.. this is her by the way:

After that i met up with my mate and his sister and ended up staying with them until the club let out about 5.30 and then we went to get some food and a taxi. I feel a bit of a twat as after meeting that manager earlier she must have got me thinking so i was shitfaced and so started trying it on with my mates sister (who just looked at me in a what the fuck are you doing kind of way) and then one of my other mate from works sister was there who i ended up kissing, so i didn't really do very well in a moral not trying to pull mates sisters kind of way. I hadn't been out that late for ages and it was strange to leave a club in daylight....

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Foreigners in London

I went to London today with my mum and had a good day. A few things wound me that to be honest normally wind me up in London. I went into a post office near the British Museum as I needed to apply for a new passport as mine went through the wash. I was using the Post Office's check and send service and the guy serving me was Indian. Suddenly i'm being grilled about applying for a new passport and interviewed by someone who's blatantly not British, I thought it was quite funny.

Later on we were in Starbucks in the Trocadero and a Russian girl served us. "Latte half strength" Was the order... "Half what?" "Half strength" "What you mean half strength?" "Half the strength as you normally make it"...."you mean half strong?".. And i get really indignant that the person serving me can't speak english. The worse was to come, my mum went to the toilet (which costs a fucking pound by the way) and she didn't have a pound coin only two 50p's so she went up to the attendent and asked if she had a pound and the women just stared at her... She got the two 50p's and asked her again for change and this women didn't have a fucking clue what my mum was saying. How can you get a job with no grasp on english at all?? Is it because they get paid 40p and hour??? I suppose if your getting paid 40p an hour, free toilet breaks is a fucking BRILLIANT perk at £1 a go.

The thing that struck me the most today happened everywhere and is what is normal everywhere you go now. People taking photo after photo of exhibits in the British Museum. People not reading what they were looking at, just walking round taking photos with nobody in them just the artifacts. I didn't take a camera, i like to experience things and see the exhibits myself and read what they are and enjoy it for ME. Not taking random photos saying "this was a rock but i don't know what it was". Now don't get me wrong I like photographs. But people nowadays don't actually enjoy the experience they are having as they are too busy taking photos of it!! I don't have any photos of the best experiences of my life... I have no photos of the Champions league, FA Cup and League Cup finals, I have no photo's of the stunning Louise from Leeds I met one night a few years back. I remember them in my head and didn't feel the need to take a million photos so I would remember it. Weddings are the same now, rather than a photographer taking photos of the couple being happy, the couple's entire day is now pretending to be happy for the photographer.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

North Korea

That place is super fucked up. I've been reading and watching a bit about North Korea recently and it is really really scary. It's like the Ministry of Truth in 1984 where Kim Jong Il adjusts the truth to suit his means. Nobody in the masses has any access to external websites and all internal information and media is created by the ruling government. They are told they are the happiest people in the world and Kim Jong Il lives in the most lavish luxury whilst his people starve.

Kim Jong il is called the Dear leader and The President of the country is his father Kim Il-sung, even though he died in 1994 and is still treated like a God. The calender in North Korea starts at 1912 in the same way the western calender starts at the birth of christ.

What must it be like if all you're told is what the government wanted you to hear? If you had no idea what was happening in the world how do you react to situations? North Korea has got one of the largest armys in the world and have nuclear weapons. If the government tells the people that they are right and the west are enemies as are South Korea, without a voice of reason from neutral media outlets, isn't everyone going to believe that? If the news tells people that america are launching an attack and the only way to retaliate is by using nuclear force, if people have no alternate news access, why would they think that was not right?

We attack Iraq to take out saddam yet this scares me far me, I don't need to ask the question why we're not doing anything about it do I? They just have nothing we need.

Monday, May 31, 2010

World Cup Fever

I've not really had anything to post about recently. Works is still bad. I might apply for a managers position just for the money but i know i won't get it as i've only been there are few months. The longer I stay there the more i want to just go and work on a boat in mexico like my sister did and forget about doing the same mundane things here. I've always wanted a bit of excitement in my life so selling insurance and doing the same things over and over again are really boring me.

I've not played any poker at all except for the syndicate games i'm in on raise the river. I need to verify my neteller account and as i don't have a bank account at the moment, am in the process of renewing my passport and have no utility bills in my own name, i'm struggling to get it verified. That means i have no money currently in any poker rooms so need to get this sorted out ASAP so I can play the final few games in the tournament syndicate.

I am getting excited about the world cup though. I always try and get to the finals of a tournament but can't this year so will try and catch as much of it on the TV as possible. I fancy Brazil myself but can see England doing well. I know we always think this but this year is slightly different. In 1990 we had difficult games in Holland, Republic of Ireland and Cameroon before Germany, In 1998 we had a difficult game early in Argentina after having to play good Romanian and Columbian sides in the group. In 2002 we had a group that contained Sweden, Argentina and Nigeria then had to play Denmark before being beaten by Brazil. It was slightly easier in 2006 when we had Sweden and Paraguay and then Ecuador before Portugal however our run in this should be much easier. The group stage should be a breeze and with the likely match up against Serbia or Australia in the 2nd round should get us into the Quarter Finals easily. All it takes is for us to do well in ONE game and suddenley we're in sight of the final again....

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Delusions of Grandeur

Read this today that made me LOL PMSL and ROFL.

Alan Hansen, television football pundit, and a member of Scotland's 1982 World Cup squad, said: "I remember watching Italy versus Brazil in the World Cup Final in 1970.

"It was at that moment I knew I wanted to be there myself, playing in games like that. I will never forget watching that game."

Yeah shame you're scottish alan and had NO chance of ever getting anywhere near the 2nd round of the World Cup.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Every Time

When the World cup comes along there are always things hanging over us...

You couldn't have waited facking 7 weeks could you Cheryl??

Cheryl and Ashley, Jordan and Peter, Paul and Heather... celebrities always want their marriage over quickly when it falls apart, but the "quickie" divorce is anything but - it takes months.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Lost Finale

Did anyone watch this? If not beware there may be spoilers.

Up until 10 minutes from the end i thought it was going to be good. I really liked the way it was going in the alternate reality... and then it just went stupid.

During the entire 6 seasons, Kate has always followed jack when there is something important to be done and has always liked Jack. So as soon as Jack says he needs to "save the island" and kisses her and tells her he loves her, she fucks off knowing she wouldn't see him again and leaves him with ben and hurley to save the world.

Also I liked the way they got all the originals together at the end, I just have no idea what actually happened?? Soooo many questions?? What was the black smoke? Why didn't man in Locke just kill them all ages ago? What was the score with the numbers and why did hurley hear those number all the time and they were on the hatch and had to type into the computer with desmond? Why didn't desmond put the pin back in to start the light and save Jack? Why did the plane fly back over the island when there was supposed to be a certain route they had to take to get away from the Island?? Since when can an aeroplane reverse???

hmmmmmmmm any ideas????

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Only in China...

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily"

Makes you want to read more doesn't it?!?!

A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.

The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.

The incident prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily.

The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.

"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear."

The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: "A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum."

The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nothing Happening

Life has been a bot boring lately. Am busy at work so have not played poker. Neteller have frozen my account till i send them info over and to be honest, i have no idea how to do that. I've been going to the gym a lot and have starting training for the 3 peak challenge i'm doing in August which will be hard work. I feel alot better after being to the gym and weirdly feel less tired so will keep it up.

As well as the 3 Peak Challenge in August, On friday i'm sleeping outside our central Norwich office for a homeless childrens charity. It looks like it should be alright weather but I'll literally be on the street with a sleeping bag so that should be interesting. I would like to say that I really felt strongly about that charity but the truth is that there are super fit women from work doing it and some managers so will be good for getting to know people.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I will make you feel old.........

Back to the Future

If it was made today and they went back the same length of time as they did in the film, what year would they go back to?


Saturday, May 15, 2010


Good to see Lampard getting good preperation for taking penalties in pressure games and spanking it miles wide.

We're going to lose on penalties again arn't we?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Shteevve McClaren

As an england fan i remember this:

And remember being all prepared to go to the Euros after watching England in the qualifiers. I was happy when he got sacked as he was useless and laughed my ASS off when I heard the interview after he first joined FC Twente when he spoke English with a Dutch accent:

So I suppose he has done well winning the Dutch league but he's now decided to jump ship and join Wolfsburg. Reading the BBC sport website I love this comment about the reason he left as it makes NO SENSE!! Explain this one to me someone PLEASE. Why didn't he just say "I went for the money?"

"I have had two fantastic years at FC Twente, but made a promise to my wife and children [who remained in England] that I would not spend more than two years living away from them," McClaren told Dutch newspaper TC Tubantia.

"Now we will all live together in Germany."


Friday, May 07, 2010

Man Utd - Chelsea Bet

Have just put a bet on the football Sunday. My idea is that Fergie will tell United to start super quickly on Sunday on the basis that if United go ahead early and the news gets to Stamford Bridge then it might make Chelsea get a bit nervous. To take that idea a bit further, I think Carlo Ancelotti will be telling Chelsea that if they go ahead early then it doesn't matter if United score!! So i think both teams will really be up for it and starting fast to get an early goal. What i've done is to put a double on Chelsea and United to both be winning by the 15th minute. Have stuck £35 on it and am getting nearly 10-1 so would get £325 back if it hits so fingers crossed...

Thursday, May 06, 2010


Can't handle these swings. Last week all good and hitting, then today just get outdrawn all the time. Ak beating my KK. 10 J beating KQ on a 10 J A flop.

Rush... everything too fast and the heaters and coolers come along so quickly

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Inperfect Poker

Normally when i play I have been trying to play "perfect ABC poker". By this i mean always being aware or what my stats must be like and to always come into pots raising and 3 betting more. What I have realised at NL10 Rush is that the majority of the big pots i'm winning are through hitting sets so I have been calling more with small to medium pairs unless raised high to set mine. I've really cut my 3 betting range as people's calling range is massive and so it's hard to know how to play if you miss the flop. I've really really really really cut my 3 bet calling range to very high premium hands as, through experience, have found that people at NL10's 3 bet range is only premium hands. I have been doing well at Rush after initially not liking the format. The key is to not try and moves and just wait to hit the cards. I know that doesn't sound right but the amount you win when you hit outweighs the losses which is the name of the game. The whole point is that i'm now winning and doing what i think is right to win at this level.

From the $6 rakeback i had i now have $61 in my tilt account and have also shipped $20 across to amatay for a go on the World Cup sweepstake.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Heater Over

Well it was fun while it lasted. The reason I get wound up about poker is hands like this. If he spins a set or AA then well played you sir, but this just fucks me right off. what a useless cunt. Call a raise 7 3..

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Super Heater

I wasn't going to deposit back into full tilt or play anwhere at all but got an email saying I had received $6.27 in rakeback so thought i'd play and lose it all at NL10 Rush as you apprantly can't withdraw on tilt unless you have $50. I then go on the daftest super heater i've ever been on getting dealt QQ 4 times, KK three times and AA twice in the space of about 15 minutes. Also won an all in pot with quad 2's. Every hand was hitting, sometimes stupidly like 10J hitting 9 Q K on the flop. I'd love to be able to say i played well but that's not the case is it when you hit cards like this? Anyway I had spun that $6 up to nearly $60 in no time at all.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Liverpool v Chelsea

Well the end of the season is here again and the top of the league is close. Liverpool play Chelski on Sunday and if Liverpool win or draw then it opens the league up for United, if Chelsea win then all they need to do it beat Wigan at Stamford Bridge the next week to win the league.

So as a proper United fan there will be 1 team and 1 team only i'll be cheering on to win come Sunday.

Come on Chelsea....

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Vote Monster Raving Looney Party

They have some interesting policies on things like terrorism:

Scary Terrorists
Ban all terrorists from having beards as they look scary.


Terror Passport
Separate Passports for Terrorists: Terrorists should be required (by virtue of law) to apply for separate passports in which they give there full contact details, number of explosives, and time (as well as location) of any plot. This would save time and money in gathering intelligence, and could also help identify the intended ambition(s) behind any atrocity(s).

and also on housing:

All new homes should be built with a swimming pool and bouncy castle as standard.
To lower the house prices and help young people I propose we erase the last ‘0’ from the price

and the NHS

Maltesers should be on prescription.

etc etc

So all funny but a little stupid, bit like labour and the tories then...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Not Playing

Am not playing and feeling better about myself for not doing. Have been lazy recently and need to start going to the gym to train for the 3 peak challenge I'm doing in August which is climbing Scafell Pike, Ben Nevis and Snowden in a 24 Hour period for the charity Brain Tumour UK.

For the rest of the week i'm going to get up early, Go the the gym, really look hard for a new job and take a hold of my life and try and make things happen again for myself.

What i'm not going to do is sit in my pants like a degenerate trying to win at poker.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Am going to block myself

I really don't like poker

I play alot, don't win and get frustrated and annoyed and i knowi've said it before but i'm going to stop playing. I have about $500 in different sites and am going to withdraw to neteller, delete all poker sites off the computer and spend my days doing more productive things. I think my last serious relationship ended because of poker and my life's shit now because of that break up. There are 101 things i could be doing that are more productive then poker. Punching myself in the face would be a good one, or writing a book, or going to the gym, or trying to find a decent job i don't hate but all i do like a degenerate wanker is play poker as i think i can win some money playing it but can't/won't/don't want to so won't play anymore. I'm actually tempted to fuck all the money off on a NLHE $2-$4 table for shits and giggles as i know i have no way of depositing anymore but i might as well try and withdraw it and use it productively.

I might email stars and tilt and get them to block my accounts.

See this is what pisses me off. All these fucking blog posts that piss and moan arew annoying arn't they?? As you don't really give a fuck but lots of us must fucking hate poker as we all moan about it so much. No more....

Friday, April 23, 2010

I love the News...

Saw this just now on the BBC website

So I agree with the election being important news, and Greece having to borrow billions from Europe and the IMF is important. If you look at the smaller news items on the right you have things like "Dozens die in Baghdad blasts" which is a story that 58 people died and more than a 100 injured in bomb blasts in Iraq. Also on the "smaller" news you have stories about how 3 people killed a man with learning difficulties and have been found guilty of murder and how the women in charge of the whole Baby P saga was sacked "lawfully"... So important serious news... But NNNNNNNNNNOoooooooooooooooooooooooo what does the BBC website have as it's photo leading news segement (apart from Greece and the Election)???? About how the Duke of Edinburgh has injured his ankle. He suffered bruising and didn't need to go to hospital. Fuck the 58 people who died today in baghdad and the bloke who was murdered.. STOP THE PRESS..... An 88 year old man hurt his ankle a little bit...

Swapping and Changing

I keep playing rush PLO and keep getting bad outdraws. I keep building up well and then getting outdrawn and losing it all.

I've been doing well grinding 27 and 45 man MTSNG on stars so need to just play those and NOTHING else. I keep winning and then losing it at the cash tables or at rush on tilt.

On a different note my mum has gone to visit my sister who lives in Spain. I do really badly being on my own and am just playing poker and drinking already and it's 1930 and that's probably what i'll do all night...

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Had a brilliant day yesterday. Am into music quite alot and my favourite band for years has been Ash who to be honest arn't that big anymore even though their new material is brilliant (on their own record label now so no marketing). They were playing at the Waterfront in Norwich last night, a small venue and the concert was brilliant and they mixed a good selection of the old classics (oh yeah, Kung Fu, Shining Light) and the new stuff.

During the afternoon they played a small acoustic set at HMV in Norwich and signed copies of their new album (A-Z series Volume 1). The acoustic set was brilliant and i got a little chat in with Tim Wheeler the Frontman about what song they were going to open with that night and that i's seen they'd opened with an old obscure song called projects a few nights before.

Anyway they are BRILLIANT!!!

this is a video on youtube from the guy who was stood next to me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

yeah lets give THESE people access to Nuclear weapons....

Women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes, an Iranian cleric says.

Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, the acting Friday prayer leader in Tehran, said women should stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves.

"Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he explained.

Tens of thousands of people have died in Iran earthquakes in the last decade.

Mr Sediqi was delivering a televised sermon at the Tehran University campus mosque last Friday on the need for a "general repentance" by Iranians when he warned of a "prevalence of degeneracy".

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes," he said.

'Disappoint God'

Correspondents say many young Iranians sometimes push the boundaries of how they can dress, showing hair under their headscarves or wearing tight-fitting clothes.

Mr Sediqi also described the violence following last year's disputed presidential election - the result of which prompted thousands of people to hold mass protests - as a "political earthquake".

"Now if a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God's power, only God's power. So lets not disappoint God."

More than 25,000 people died when a powerful earthquake hit the ancient city of Bam in 2003.

Seismologists have warned that the capital, Tehran, is situated on a large number of tectonic fault lines and could be hit by a devastating earthquake soon.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said many of Tehran's 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

There are plans to build a purpose built new capital near Qom.

Hates it

Rush poker is shit, both cash and tourney

Full Tilt is shit in general.

Low level heads up games are shit on stars.

My job is shit and i hate it

The only poker thats ok is the bloggerment for the crack (and it's nice to play against proper players and not shit players)

And maybe grinding 45/18/27/90/180 manners but don't have the time, unless i play on full tilt rush which i won't as it's shit.

I really need something to kick start my life at the moment which is generally shit. Need to find a new job that payms more than the shit job i have

Saying that i think i have the record for the amount of times i think things are shit in a post.

Monday, April 19, 2010

What has changed?

Not sure whats changed in my game i really don't. these are some posts from the past i saw today and now play low level $5 HUSNG and struggle and struggle at $0.02 - $0.04 cash...

From a few years ago:

Well i was getting a bit bored playing heads up all the time so i decided to play some cash games on pokerstars.

I sat at a 6 seater $2-$4 table and bought in for the maximum of $400. I had this up quite quickly to around $660 when this hand happened...

PokerStars Game #10510420812: Hold'em No Limit ($2/$4) - 2007/06/19 - 06:54:48 (ET)Table 'Dejanira' 6-max
Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: poonjockey ($499.30 in chips)
Seat 2: OZlander ($102.20 in chips)
Seat 3: SFCellman ($794.60 in chips)
Seat 4: tom90cu ($128 in chips)
Seat 5: capaneo ($407.20 in chips)
Seat 6: United113 ($664.10 in chips)
tom90cu: posts small blind $2
capaneo: posts big blind $4
OZlander: posts small & big blinds $6
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to United113 [Jc Js]
United113: raises $12 to $16
poonjockey: folds OZlander: folds
SFCellman: calls $16tom90cu: calls $14
capaneo: folds
*** FLOP *** [Ac Tc Jd]
tom90cu: checks
United113: bets $44
SFCellman: calls $44
tom90cu: folds
*** TURN *** [Ac Tc Jd] [Qd]
United113: checks SFCellman: bets $134.60
United113: calls $134.60
*** RIVER *** [Ac Tc Jd Qd] [Qh]
United113: bets $469.50 and is all-in
SFCellman: calls $469.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***United113: shows [Jc Js] (a full house, Jacks full of Queens)
SFCellman: mucks hand
United113 collected $1351.20 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $1354.20 Rake $3 Board [Ac Tc Jd Qd Qh]
Seat 1: poonjockey folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: OZlander folded before Flop
Seat 3: SFCellman (button) mucked [Kc 6c]
Seat 4: tom90cu (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 5: capaneo (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: United113 showed [Jc Js] and won ($1351.20) with a full house, Jacks full of Queens


Yesterday i managed to blow $900 on stars so i fired up Virgin today and played some $2-$4 and $3-$6 and am $950 up for the day..


Virgin $2-$4
Well i was up about $1000 yesterday on Virgin $2-$4 cash. I have stopped playing today about $250 up.

I was doing much better and was about $850 up when i got dealt ace 3.. I i raised from the small blind and the big blind called..

Flop 33 A..

basically all the chips went in and he spiked a king on the river to make a bigger full house.. That was a $900 pot so if i win that i'm well up but these things happen..

A $250 profit for the day is fine by me...

I seem to find the $2-$4 tables easier to play then the lower limts as there are less idiots and everything seems to be going well at the moment...



I've actually noticed that i seem to be winning well at the higher stakes Heads up sit and go's.

I've been playing on Full tilt and pokerstars and been playing anywhere from $50 - $220 games.


I received an email from Virgin Poker today about the prize i won to the WSOP.

and this is the best:

I entered the Coral $20,000 guranteed with 823 entrants and 1 rebuy/add on allowed.

6 hours later, prize pool of $26,140 i won $6274 coming in 1st...

Real $6,273.78
Real $3,659.60
Real $2,300.32
Real $1,620.68
Real $1,097.88
Real $836.48
Real $601.22
Real $496.66
hartsu 10
Real $392.10

What the fuck has changed?!?! But now can't seem to win anything

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Giving Up

Been thinking about this for a while and am going to give up poker. I don't enjoy it anymore. I play and get tilted too easily and can't win consistantly. I feel I miss out so much on normal life as the idea is always there that I can win big or win x amount of money a month but the truth is i don't grind, I tilt too easily, I'm struggling to beat the low limit HUSNG so don't know what to play??

I think i'll do better spending my time doing other activities, such as going to the gym, reading or spending time with friends. Since September I've played poker quite a lot and what do I have to show for it? About $550.. that's in 7 months so I think this is it peeps...

Classic facebook status

Why is there so many stupied people in the world?


Saturday, April 17, 2010

They've got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan..

They had a derby match with Macclesfield
They had Colin Bell who was better than Best(!)
They've been relegated ten times
They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig
They bought Steve Daly for a million quid
They tried to sign Geoff Thomas and he turned 'em down
They've got Bernard Manning as their fattest fan
They've got the tallest corner flags in the world
They used to be little, but now they're large

Because City are a massive club...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Work = Tilt

I work in an environment where i have to convert about 1 in 4 calls to a sale. It's hard to not get down when you get retards call in wanting to save £4 on annual car insurance. In a similar way to poker you need to not let idiots get you down and keep pitching people in the same way to get the desired results but as in poker, that's easier said than done.

I think it might help my poker game really by teaching me more "tilt" management and just doing the best i can and the sales will come.

Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm glad he's moving on down

Well after going to watch this game live:

Portugal v England Euro 2004

And also this game live:

England v Portugal World Cup 2006

And seeing this twat run across the pitch after being fucking lucky after seeing a goal disallowed from Sol Campbell for no reason..

Safe to say i was glad to see him fail miserably at Chelski after leaving his post as portugal manager.

So i found it REALLY funny to see who he is managing now. I think it proves that anyone could win the World Cup with Brazil and that everyone thinks he's useless as he is now manager of the mighty Bunyodkor from Uzbekistan. That's nearly the worst team in the WORLD to manage!!! I suppose he didn't hit rock bottom though and go to Liverpool or Leeds.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Charity Game

There is a Charity game on Pokerstars that one of the Raise the River forum members is organising for Cancer Research. All the entries will go to the charity and there are some other prizes available as well.

Game details are :

Sunday 18th April
$10 Buy In
password: Mair38 (it's a capital "M")
Tourney Number: 261128458

Should be a good crack if we get alot of the bloggers to play.

Come on and join it'll be a laugh, i'm registered using my Googlemomma account

This is the link to the post on the Raise the River forum, which if you're not a member of, you should join..

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Rant Post

1. Why do people display their bronzestar status to other players on pokerstars?? WELL DONE, you have the ENTRY level reward star, fucking RETARDS.

2. Fuck off you little Brazilian Rafael TWAT

3. Pokerstars players are all mouthy WANKERS... Am going to start just calling the mod everytime they start.

that is all

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

So it begins...

Finally got the last money out of Virgin and have left for good. Software has been deleted from my PC and all affiliate shite deleted never to be seen again. I'll hopefully speak to itripz soon and get the Poker Idol banners sorted out, not for any financial gain just to help a fellow brit blogger/RTR member out. Virgin really ended up pissing me off... This is the email they send for a reminder of my password for the affiliate site:

Call me stupid and patronise me more why don't you?!?!

All my bankroll is now in stars for HUSNG. I have $598 and will play $10 games till i feel comfortable and then back to the $20's i used to make 10% ROI at...

Monday, April 05, 2010

Allergic to Alcohol

this really could ruin my life....

Since i've been out in the last month or so i've started getting really bad headaches, feeling really hot and feeling sick when I have a drink. Last weekend on the sunday i felt terrible but assumed it was just a hangover however I went to the Grovesnor Casino in Yarmouth yesterday afternoon and had a pint of cider and suddenly felt exactly the same. I was supposed to meet a girl last night as well who is stunning and works in my local, but just stood her up as i didn't have her number and felt terrible. Looking back, every time i've drunk recently i've felt like shit so am not sure what to do. It's easy to say just don't drink, but when you're trying to meet people it's shit being sober when everyone's drunk, and if anyone's ever been down Prince Of Wales Road in Norwich on a Saturday night, it really isn't a place you want to be sober....

I'd taken a while off poker and tried to evaluate looking at results, games played etc. My problem is changing what I play every 5 minutes. I had a look at my United113 account and my googlemomma accounts on stars and realised i just need to stick to playing HUSNG as thats my best game. I've played 57 $5 HUSNG and won 36 and lost 21 which is good. Should deposit my final money when Virgin pull their fingers out of their arse to move it out and should have over $500 so will start $10 games and play nothing else. I'll not win a load in the same way as I could in an MTT but hopefully should just win steadily.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Being single on facebook is shit

Target marketing on facebook makes me laugh. I'm single so get all the dating sites advertised on my profile and it must link to likes etc.. That's all ok if not fucking annoying basically reminding me i'm single everytime i'm on facebook, but whats's the disabled thing all about?!?!?

Funny how peoples views differ

After my recent post about sharks bumhunting the HU tables, Ben Grundy who plays heads up PLO has said the same thing. Reading ben's posts it is quite funny how people's views differ when you move up limits and get better at poker. He mentions that he never plays the nosebleed stakes. I know what he means as in Ivey's Room on Full Tilt they have up to $500/$1000 stakes, however he still plays $50/$100 which I would class to be serious nosebleed stakes.

I was having a look at some graphs on players winnings recently and still can't work out the effect variance has on play. I think now that variance has an affect on lower skilled players but the better you get the less if effects you. Take the player i mentioned above. He has won $7.8 million in around 350,000 hands and his graph for profit is as straight and constant as you would wish for. He wins and wins constantly. I have no doubt he will continue to win at a similar rate for as long as he plays. There has been talk of 300,000 hand break even runs on the raise the river forum which i also understand. However do i think you can win millions just being on a 400,000 hand heater and using proper bankroll management techniques?? I don't think so. Ivey always wins, I was watching Antonius batter ZeeJustin the other day. I bet Antonius doesn't get as badly affected by variance as us fish do?

What do you think?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Funny News....

A pet shop owner who was electronically tagged after selling a goldfish to a 15-year-old boy has said she was "stunned" by the sentence.

Joan Higgins, 66, pleaded guilty at Trafford Magistrates' Court to selling an animal to a person under the age of 16 unaccompanied by an adult.

She also admitted causing unnecessary suffering to a cockatiel at Major's Pets, in Sale, Greater Manchester

Causing unnecessary suffering to a cockatiel....brilliant

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Yeah?! No shit....

Puerto Rican pop star Ricky Martin has announced he is gay

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Am giving up

Am going to take a long break from poker and then see how I feel when i come back but if i still feel like this i think i'll quit the game for good. I want to enjoy playing but can't. I wake up feeling good about things then play poker and it just gets me down. Am on stars and i thought i'd play some HU PLO but the minimum buy in is $50 which ios fine, however all the tables are full of sharks sat with up to $700. I then play some HUSNG and get some stupid beats to lose and then fire up some MTSNG and play TWO. Just TWO and the following 2 hands happen and it's impossible for me not to get disheartened. Am going to take a while of then and may not be back.

and this one for fun

Friday, March 26, 2010

Fooled By Randomness

I'm reading a book at the moment called "Fooled by Randomness" and it's really interesting about how luck figures a lot more in day to day things than we think. The book talks alot about market traders but I can't help linking it to poker. I read this below last night. I'll copy it exactly as the book says, remember it's not about poker but about business, but i can't help changing the works from business to poker in my head!!

"Can we judge the success of people by their raw performance and their personal wealth? Sometimes - But not always. We will see how, at any point in time, a large section of businessmen with outstanding track records will be no better than randomly thrown darts. More curiously, and owing to a perculiar bias, cases will abound of the least-skilled businessmen being the richest. However, they will fail to make an allowance for the role of luck in their performance.

Lucky fools do not bear the slightest suspicion that they may be lucky fools - by definition, they do not know that they belong to such a category. They will act as if they deserved the money.Their strings of successes will inject them with so much serotonin(or some similar substance) that they will even fool themselves about their ability to outperform markets (our hormonal system does not know if our successes depend on randomness). One can notice it in their posture; a profitable trader will walk upright, dominate style - and will tend to talk more than a losing trader. Scientists found out that serotonin, a neurotransmitter, seems to command a large share or our human behavior. It sets a positive feedback, the virtuous cycle, but, owing to an external kick from randomness, can start a reverse motion and cause a vicious cycle. It has shown that monkeys injected with serotonin will rise in the pecking order, which in turn causes an increase in serotonin level in their blood - until the virtuous cycle breaks and starts a vicious one (during the vicious cycle failure will cause one to slide in the pecking order, causing a behavior that will bring about further drops in the pecking order). Likewise, an increase in personal performance (regardlessof whether it is caused deterministically or by the agency of lady fortuna) induces a rise of serotonin in the subject, itself causing an increase of what is commonly called "leadership ability". One is "on a roll". Some imperceptable changes in deportment, like an ability to express oneself with serenity and confidence, make the subject look credible - as if he truly deserved the shekels. Randomness would be ruled out as a possible factor, until it rears it's head once more and delivers that kick that will induce the downward spiral

Isn't he perfectly describing why we tilt in there??

Poker is about break even at the moment but not played a =lot. Below is a bit of a mad hand earlier. Have villain crushed ore, flops nut straight and then.. well see for yourself!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

10% ROI

Am going to aim to make 10% ROI on the HUSNG tables. My problem is putting the volume in. I think i'll start building up the multi tabling which i haven't done before at HUSNG. Am playing $5 at the moment and will move to $10 in the next few days. I used to do well at the $20 so will move to them bankroll permitting. 10% ROI at the $20 tables means if i can get 10 games in a day thats $20 a day profit which does me fine. At that rate i will have saved enough by November for my holiday.

10% ROI all i need to think about!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Feel like an arsehole

I went out last night for a friends 30th Birthday party and had a good night. I ended up in a club with a few others and suddenly felt really drunk and a bit rough so decided i needed to leave straight away. All but one of us left and i spoke to my mate apologising saying i felt rough and had to go, he said it was fine and he'd stop out.

This morning it turns out that he left the club ten minutes after we left on his own and got jumped at the taxi rank by a couple of blokes and ended up in hospital. He's got a nasty cut above his eye, a couple of teeth are out of place and one chipped, his face is swollen quite badly and his jaw really hurts. I know hindsight is a fantastic thing but of course you think that he would have been less likely to be assaulted if there were 2 of us.

All this was in Norwich city centre and even though it was not exceptionally bad, it might raise alot of questions in the news due to the fact of the location it happened. It's quite a quiet area and I was sure they had marshals around there after this happened at the same place:

Three men were arrested today in connection with the murder of a banker allegedly set upon after remonstrating with a gang attacking a homeless man.

Father-of-two Frank McGarahan, 45, of Much Hadham, Herts, died in hospital yesterday after being injured in central Norwich in the early hours of Sunday.

Police said three men - all in their early twenties and from the Norwich area - had been arrested.

A spokesman said the men were being held at police stations across Norfolk.

Mr McGarahan was chief operating officer of Barclays Wealth, a section of Barclays Bank which manages the assets of some of the world's richest people, and had been enjoying a night out in Norwich before a family christening.

Police said he was hurt at around 3am on Sunday and died in hospital yesterday without regaining consciousness.

Detective Superintendent Chris Hobley, who is heading the inquiry, said Mr McGarahan had seen a homeless Lithuanian, who was walking a dog with his girlfriend, assaulted and he remonstrated. There was an "exchange of words" then Mr McGarahan was hurt.

Mr Hobley said Mr McGarahan, who had been for a meal and visited several bars, was at a taxi rank with his brother Kevin, who lives in Norwich, and a cousin.

He said all three men, plus a bouncer who worked at a nearby strip club, became involved in the incident. The bouncer suffered a broken jaw and Mr McGarahan's cousin also needed hospital treatment.

Norwich taxi driver Daniel Rennie said today he saw the aftermath.

"He was lying face down on the pavement," said Mr Rennie.

"Paramedics worked at him for some time."

Mr Rennie said he saw another man sitting on a wall with his head in his hands "looking very upset".

He added: "Anyone who helps a fellow human being in that situation is a very brave man."

Same club, same taxi rank. Hopefully they should have it all on CCTV to catch the fuckers who did it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Why did i leave!!

I know it doesn't mean much but....

Just played my first HUSNG on pokerstars after a couple of years break. Only a $5 game that i won but the whole structure of the game and starting blinds etc feels so right. I used to do well on the $20 games with an ROI of 10% over 1000 games and used to win about $400 a month. If i can do that again i will be very happy!!


Am 2 - 0 after what i thought was a great comeback after the HU super cooler!

PLO Rush

took the majority of my roll out and have busted what i had left in full tilt playing PLO rush. PLO is far more frustrating then NLHE. The players are trying to fucking play holdem i think and have no clue what they are doing sat round a PLO table which makes it even more annoying when they suck out.all the money goes in on a 56J rainbow board when i'm holding 7,8,9,10 so have most of the deck to hit and what has villain got?? Ackc2c2h..ace high but of course 2 clubs hit so am busto.

am not going to play on Full Tilt. Was going to play the 90 and 180 man but the structure's arn't right so will play them on stars.

On a different note am really tired all the time. Think i won't play tonight, just might watch some lost, get really confused and then fall asleep...

Am well happy with the champions league draw today...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Editors and PLO Rush

Went to see the Editors last night in Cambridge and they were really good. Was full of stuck up retard Cambridge University students though which put a bit of a downer on the night...

Was doing ok at rush (well of course i was doing well i had just deposited :-)...) and now the arse has fallen out of it, especially when people catch hands like this...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The stupidest thing i've ever heard...

Saw this on the news tonight:

the biggest recording deal in history, worth more than $200m (£133m), with Sony Music


The deal reportedly involves 10 album projects over seven years - including one of previously unreleased material.

10 album project ok?

Guess who it is

Michael Jackson

Now if i'm getting all this right in the 50 years he was alive he released:

Off the wall
Blood on the Dance Floor

Not includin the Jackson 5 which i don't know if that is linked to this or not.

So we can expect 10 albums from Michale Jackson now he's dead, even though he only released 7 when he was alive. So if 1 is going to be off unreleased material and they just re release all the other 7 albums then what are the other 2 going to be? 2 Greatest hits albums???

Maybe a couple of charity ones for childrens charities that look after children who have suffered abuse from child molesters. Of maybe adult sufferers who end up killing themselves when they can't seem to get over the fact that Michael Jackson molested their child in the 90's (that actually did happen)

But know lets just remember that the child molester could moon walk.. I always preferred Gary Glitter anyway..

Bye Bye Boss

Have cut my ties to Virgin and the boss network. Have deposited $250 into Full Tilt and am going to deposit into stars.

played my first (and only) session 3 tabling rush and in the space of 10 minutes was $14 down!!! no more

180 man and 90 man for me

Aside from that, between 1800 and 2400 tonight i will finally be free!! Serco are coming round to remove the tag after 6 months in jail and 6 months curfew i will finally be free in as little as 20 minutes...

Useless Retard monkeys

sorry folks but how is it not possible to get tilted when things like this happen??

Is it just me on would these get everyone else's back up? Always at the start of a session so i have to stop as well.

Not enjoying playing at the moment against these players. Might just move up limits and hopefully play against better players, I really don't care if i get beaten it'll just be nice to play against proper players and not monkeys sat in a zoo somewhere.

EDIT - Just requested to take all my money out of boss. went back on then this happens.

Because it's 5 handed. the prize money is low and you can't win enough to outweigh the retard calls. All my moneys going to Full Tilt and Pokerstars for the 180 and 90 man MTSNG. I really couldnt give a fuck if i win, it'll be nice to enjoy playing again

EDIT 2 - am done with boss. deleting them as affiliate, wouldn't recommend anyone to play there. it's a terrible terrible network, which is probably why nobody plays there. plus they've been advertising a fucking $10k freeroll tonight for ages, just play 1 raked hand in 21 days etc, how many entrants?? 5000. As soon as you realise it's registering it;s fucking full. Boss ran by monkeys and fucking monkeys play on it. good night and good game you useless fucking retard network

Monday, March 15, 2010

The shortest long session ever........

My mentality at cash and the low stakes SNG is funny. I don't think i enjoy playing them! I sat down earlier for a long session on the cash tables so sat at six NL4 tables and the 3rd hand dealt on one i get AA and the $4 gets in the middle pre flop and i get beaten by 4d 5d. I immediately stand up and leave all the tables i'd sat down on....

I think i'll be joining Burnley John at the 180mans on stars soon when i can get money out of boss. I have now deposited £10 into my £400 bankroll using neteller. I had to deposit on to my Virgin account before i could withdraw but how long should i leave it before i try and take money out?

Sunday, March 14, 2010



I really want to go on holiday somewhere inspiring and interesting. I was going to go to china, Hong Kong and Macau as said in a previous post but i've been looking today at the requirements for a visa and i think i have no chance. Alot of my mates will be off to vegas and i think i have no chance of entering the states either. I could go and visit my ex girlfriend in Melbourne and shock her and give her new boyfriend what he deserves but i don't think i'd get into australia either, and that's probably not a good idea anyway!!

Thinking about trekking to base camp at Everest. I was looking at Kilimanjaro but that's actually quite expensive. Plan now is to go November time and the trek for 18days costs £995 and say £600 for flights so i need £1600. Will have april, may, june, july, august, september pay days so really need to save £250 a month which will be hard but achievable. Add to that the £400 i have in poker accounts, if i can BREAK EVEN over the next 6 months then that will help me pay for a bit and, heaven forbid, i actually win some then all the better.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The strangest most worrying facebook conversation i've ever had.......

Conversation with a friend of mine earlier. To set the scene i used to go out with a girlg called Georgina (George) who was actually mental i think.. anyway.. conversation from earlier

It is a bit wrong...:

U remember George?xx

do i have to remember george?

ok yeah...

She had sex with her brother before you fucked her.xx

right before? or like an hour?x

Few weeks I think. Seriously I know this as fact mate, she was not right in the head but THAT is beyond fucked up! He blood brother they share a mother and she shagged him, and more than once!xx

really? how do you know? x

Quite lond winded how I know, but she told me after she'd gone to see him that she'd had a dream she'd shagged him and she was worried bout it. I'd actually just read a piece in a mag about blood relatives who meet up after a long absence and are sexually attracted to each other, it's a well accepted thing that sometimes happens but it does wear off with time. She seemed relieved though I was like fucking hel if I'd had a dream like that I wouldn't tell ANYONE man. Then anyway after she split from Chris ******* he said to me that she'd told him she'd fucked her brother and she was sick. I was like mate no she might have had a dream or something but it didn't happen, and he was adamant she'd told him she'd done it, I thought she was just trying to shock him (coz the stuff she told me him and her did in the bedroom was fucking weird man) and thought again why the fucks she saying shit like that to people coz Chrsi totally believed she had. Anyway, I saw a mate of mine ***** on ***** profile and his ex Charlotte was really good mates with George for ages, and her name came up and he said that she was evil and kept trying to fuck ******* and she'd fucked her own brother, I was like I thought i was the only person who knew anything bout that and thought Chris ***** must ahve been saying shit to people so I aksed him how he knew and he said he was in bed with ****** and he made her put the phone on speaker when George rang coz he didn't trust her and George was crying saying she'd done soemthing really bad and said all bout it and he heard evertything, then she told me she'd just dreamt it obviously. So Jesus man it was TRUE! Yak! I never thought for a second it could be man it's so wrong!xx

what did they do in the bedroom that was weird to you?!

Thye ahd sex in front of a live webcam with people watching and she fisted his arse (at his request) and there was shit everywhere apparently, he like to do it in front of people and be analized, but I don't knw if it's true she said it after they broke up so she might have been trying to cause shit for him. Again, not sure why she wanted to tell me that but she's not shy when it comes to shit you really shouldn't reveal!xx

this is by far the strangest conversation i've ever had...