Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year and all the best in 2010

Fuck how i wish that was true and it was next year rather than this year...

Last year (2007) was a fucking bollox year for me with Kirsty leaving after 8 years together and trying and failing to adjust to life on my own. I remember thinking at this time last year that i hoped i would have a better year during 2008....

How wrong i was....

And next year is going to FAR FAR worse... That's not negative thinking that's just the reality with whats coming up for me.

2008 was a shit year, after spiralling out of control after Kirsty left i managed to get quite a serious drug addiction that has left me financially fucked now with bankruptsy procedings currently being finalised. In August i was arrested with shit loads of drugs and so finish the year on police bail pending court. Work found out what had happened so in October i was out of work, just about the time the global financial markets went batshit meaning it's hard trying to find work and slightly pointless with court coming up. No work means no money so the mortgage hasn't been paid in months and am living off £60 a week job seekers allowance...

So 2009 brings for me bankruptsy, along with this comes the repossesion of my house that Kirsty and I bought 5 years ago, court where my solicitor thinks i'll probably get between 2-5 years in prison, continued drug councelling, not being ever to find a job as good as the one i had (ever?).

So i hope everyone else has a good 2009, i'll hopefully have a good 2010...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Guinness World Records

This week pokerstars have their Guinness World Record week so i had a look at some of the current Guiness World Records, not poker related, and some are fucking funny...

It's daft really, I think that it's good to know who the Worlds tallest man is, but he hasn't actually done anything to acheive that whilst it must be quite difficult to eat a 12" Pizza in 1 minute 45.37 seconds like Josh Anderson, which i think is fucking ridiculous..

So here are some of the records i found:

Ken Edwards - Most Cockroaches Eaten

Ken Edwards of Glossop, Derbyshire, England ate 36 cockroaches in one minute on the set of The Big Breakfast, London, England on March 5, 2001.

Why the fuck would you do that????

Elaine Esposito - Longest Coma

37 years then died....

How is this a good thing??? I never saw her get an award on Record Breakers

Michele Santelia - Most Books Typed Backwards

Michele Santelia (Italy) typed backwards 64 books (3,361,851 words, 19,549,382 characters) in their original languages including The Odyssey, Macbeth, The Vulgate Bible and the Guinness World Records Book 2002. Michele put together a 3,78 m (12 ft 4 in) high tower of the books typed. He completed typing backwards the volumes of the Dead Sea scrolls in Ancient Hebrew on 26 July 2007.

Hebrew is written backwards so does this mean he wrote them normally?!?!

Striker - Fastest Car Window opened By a Dog

The fastest time a dog has unwound a non-electric car window is 11.34 seconds and was achieved by Striker, a border collie owned and trained by Francis V. Gadassi (Hungary). The record was set on September 1, 2004 in Queb├ęc City, Canada

I'm sure my ex mrs opened one faster

Robert Foster - Breath Held Voluntarily

The USA's Robert Foster held his breath for 13mins 42.5secs in 1959

VOLUNTARILY!!!! hahahahahahahahahahah I want to know the record for non-voluntary breath holding....

So i hope pokerstars will be proud to sit amongst the ranks of "biggest cookie ever baked" and "Most people to irish dance at the same time" They did for the accolade of course, it had absolutely nothing with trying to generate more rake....

Monday, December 29, 2008

United113 and Joppa Road Star in "The Curse of the United113 Pokerstars Account"

So last night i played in the Pokerstars sunday warm up with one of the tickets i won in the bloggers tournament.

5800 odd entered and with 2400 left (850 paid) I had around 18000 chips when this hand happened that has got me a bit wound up... I'll explain my thinking and please let me know what you think because it's really annoying me...

Blinds are 400/800 and it gets folded round to me on the small blind. I make up the big blind and the big blind thinks about it for a bit and raises to 2400. My thinking here is that the big blind thinks that i have made up the big blind as i already have 400 invested so if he raises he'll get me to fold. As he's done this i plan on making a play on the flop as i can discount him having a premium holding as i don't think he would raise pre flop in that situation with a premium hand. At this point it makes no difference to me what my cards are i'm playing what i think my opponant has but for your information i have 10 5 off.

They have me covered but only just

The flop comes A, 5, 3 Rainbow

They bet 4000 on the flop into a pot of 4400, which i expected them to do and confirmed to me what i thought they had done pre flop. If they had hit a premium hand such as trip aces then i would expect a check and slow play with only 2 left in the hand. Even though i had made 2nd pair it didn't really have a big effect on what i was going to do with the situation i thought i was in..

I pushed with my remaining 15,600 or so.

Now with a a, 5, 3 flop there are so many hands i think they have to fold now, as i said i'd taken into consideration that they would be virtually all in so it was a decision for their tournament. I think they have to fold JJ,QQ,KK even is this situation, although i didn't believe them to have that.

They CALL......

Now here if they flip 33 or 55 or AA or i've read it wrong and fucked up then fine, but when they turn over K3 off i really can't believe it. I should be happy as i'm ahead and the hand has been played exactly they way i thought it had and they should have folded to the push with me picking up a nice pot but no...

King falls on the river and i'm eliminated.

How can you look at king 3 with that push and think it's good? It really makes no sense to me at all. What can you think you are beating??? There are so many hands that you are losinbg to, there's not much that you think you can beat!!! The other things that amazes me is that this is a $215 entry tournament thats once a week. It's not some freerole or $1 MTT or STT you can join again if you make a mistake..

Seriously can someone please explain the K3 call to me???

I was pissed of after that so i contacted Joppa Road and asked if he wanted to play the Sunday Million last night on my account and split the winnings. Joppa then hit my curse of being the unluckiest person alive when he hit the nut straight on the turn only to get his all in called by another muppet wanting to hit a heart on the river which duly arrived knocking him out after he was threatening to cash...

I have some advice, if you are ever on pokerstars and see a player called United113 playing and he goes all in pre flop, call with any holding as that seems to be a sure fire way to win the hand...

EDIT - Just been knocked out of a $1 rebuy on Ipoker. 60 left out of 740 and i'm 4th in chips and get dealt KK, tournament leader who is hyper aggressive goes all in and i call to get beaten by J8off. What the fuck is going on??????? I win that hand i have double the next person in chips and am in a great position for the $630 1st prize. But no i get $9 for 3 hours work. What the fuck is going on seriously??? I'm not going to play poker anymore it's fucking bollocks, this happens EVERY time

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sunday Warm up

Well i'm using on of the $215 tournament entries i won in the blogger tournament in the sunday warm up at the moment... I do wish my luck would hold up sometimes....

I've just had QQ busted by 88 on a 6 high flop with an 8 on the turn, am now down to about 9,000 from a starting stack of 10,000.. average is 12257 and there are 4765 left out of 5836... Why do i always seem to lose these types of pots???

Will let you know how badly i do....

EDIT - hahahahaahahah Very next hand all in and my JJ beats QQ, should moan more often...

Joppa - United113 am currently on table 62



Is everyone a fucking idiot?!?!?!

How the fuck can he call that??? Lucky Lucky bastard...

(am out by the

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I like your blog....

Friday, December 26, 2008

Yipee Kiya Mother Fucker...

Well yesterday was rubbish. I somehow managed to watch 7 films... Bean, Shark Tale, Wallace and Gromit and The Curse of the Wererabbit, Transporter 3 and Die Hard 1, 2 and 3 back to back...

Today i went to the pub with my mate at 1 to watch the united v stoke game and stayed to watch soccer (friday) saturday and the arsenal villa game and then kind of stayed there till about half ten.. Whilst there a girl came in and said "happy Jesus Day" and continued to say that boxing day was special as it's the day jesus died... Now i'm not religious at all but had a good laugh at this girls expense...

Am a bit pissed now so AM NOT going to play any poker!!! I might watch die hard 4.0 though...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I hate christmas....

I'm not one for really celebrating christmas.... I haven't sent any cards, bought any presents and bollox to putting a tree or any decorations up. None of my family do really, my mum will probably come over christmas day and we'll have salmon for lunch like last year and be fuck bored all day... You can't get away from it, fucking Cliff Richard bastard songs being played in tesco and christmas shit everywhere... grrrrrr.... Christmas eve at the pub should be good, will get shitfaced and hopefully sleep through christmas, if santa visits my house he'll probably get smacked, me thinking that he is a debt collector from barclaycard coming to take stuff away....

Poker front got fucked out of the blogger final by a retard who should have been playing in the para olympic poker thats next week i think, or all the time apparantly on the Ipoker network... i HATE playing on there as i want to headbutt the wall whenever i play... Will probably play the sunday million this week and not cash as usual....

I've not got councelling for a few weeks and the courts are shut so i know i won't be in court till at least the end of january which is good, am kind of seeing my neighbour which is nice, especially good when you have no car it's not far to travel, not that thats why i'm seeing her of course she's lovely....

Apart from that nothing much going on, went to woolworths again and they had the pick and mix at half price... but as in the rest of the store, only the shit was left...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Blogger Final

Well the final of the blogger tournament starts in about an hour. There are 369 entrants and prizes for top 100 so hopefully i'll do well.

It's strange how i seem to get into a comfort zone of WHERE i feel ok playing. I'm staying at my brothers this weekend so will be playing on my mums laptop whilst sat with my brother, sister in law and mum. It was like this last night and couldn't really get into it. I did have Amatay on my table before i busted and it was a good crack.

Because of the whole comfort zone thing i decided not to play in the sunday warm up or Sunday million this week with the 2 x $215 tournament tickets i won on the blogger qualifier earlier in the week so i might have a pop at one or the other next week.

I'll let you know how i get on but qualification however unlikely for the PCA would be beautiful. I've been to the Atlantis resort on paradise island before with the ex misses and it's nice. To be honest it may bring back some bad memories so maybe an EPT entry would be better... Am not sure i'll be let in the bahamas, i don't think i'll be allowed to the states ever again....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tonight's Qualifier

Well i spuuuuuunked out early tonight it was so frustrating.... I had around 6,000 chips with an average or 4,000 and there was a knobhead player at the table called Poker Magican who had been raising all in everyhand with premium holdings like 42off and 39sooooted. He had hit sooooo many flops so when i had AQ he raised as usual and i pushed and he called with 77 which held up.... I'm pissed off as i wouldnt have done that against anyone else and should have looked for a better opportunity and played the hand better......

Respect must go to Joppa Rd who finished 7th the other night in the NLHE qualifier out of 559 to win the same as me in a sunday gold package, he finished 16th out of 538 tonight for a step 3 ticket as well... good results...

The top ranking brits tonight were TheUKshark in 6th, PR)_rANDY in 9th and utdroad in tenth. utdroad had just said "it doesn't make a difference if you win does it?".. i was just responding "you want to finish in the top 9" when he busted... i didn't send it.....


Well i couldn't be arsed staying up to play the WBCOOP qualifier last night it wouldn't have finished till stupid times this morning and i had to be in Norwich for councelling at 12.30. I'll play the NLHE one tonight at 7.00.

I like the structure of these tournaments, i do much better in deep stack tournies for some reason and the 2500 starting chips and blind structures suit my play.

I've just found out that a girl i went to school with has got a download single out on itunes this week. They're trying to chart and the songs good... however due to shite factor you probably need "hallelujah" in the song title to chart this week, it's going to be in the chart 3 times with 3 peoples versions...

I had a bit of a result, my next door neighbour is moving away from her husband in January so i've said she can have all my furniture on kind of permanent loan which saves me putting it in storage whilst i'm inside.. as long as i get it back...

Anyway follow the link below for the single from my friend, what do you think??? If you like it download it from itunes, it's called "drained" and the band are Kenelis.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

World Blogging Championship Of Online Poker

Well i ended up finishing 3rd out of 559 in the NLHE 2nd qualifier for the World Blogging Championship Of Online Poker last night and won a a "Sunday Majors Gold Package" Which consists of 2 x $215 tournament tickets.

I started off just wanting to qualify but as it got to the last 72 was in the top 10 in chips and was really pushing for the win. The final table started and to be honest i don't think i was playing very well till we got down a bit and then i started to be more aggressive and things started to happen. I ended up being knocked out when KK wasn't good enough against AQ all in pre flop but to be honest i'd hit a few flops earlier so was probably deserved.

This is what the pokerstars blog said of it:

One hundred and forty-two people now have their seats for Sunday's PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker Main Event thanks in part to Tuesday's Event #2.
The top 72 players in WBCOOP's second event earned their place in the Main Event. Tuesday's no-limit hold'em contest drew 559 of the world's poker playing bloggers. As we've mentioned, this year WBCOOP is made up of six preliminary qualifiers and one Main Event. Each of the qualifying events awards 72 final seats plus thousands off dollars in prizes.

Event #2 took more than five hours to play out and saw tons of familiar names from the blogging community. Notable poker bloggers Easycure, Rakewell1, NumbBono, gadzooks64, and Loretta8 all made it to the top 72 and earned their seats in the Main Event. Top honors, however, went to the United States' malice51 who not only made it to the final, but also picked up three $215 tournament tickets, one $530 tournament ticket and a $11 tournament ticket (aka, Sunday Majors Platinum Package).

Here's how the final table broke down.
1. malice51 (United States) -- Sunday Majors Platinum Package
2. Baba_Jin (Israel) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
3. United113 (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
4. MemphisM0J0 (United States) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
5. WMZeus (United States) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
6. WILLdaHAMMER (Canada) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
7. Joppa Rd (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
8. maka818 (Spain) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package
9. Would-Be83 (United Kingdom) -- Sunday Majors Gold Package

If you're an eligible blogger, you still have time to qualify for this weekend's Main Event. Top prizes include a full PokerStars Caribbean Adventure package and a chance to play on the European Poker Tour.

Here''s what the full Main Event prize pool looks like.

1st--PokerStars Caribbean Adventure prize package - worth $14,300
2nd--European Poker Tour prize package + SCOOP Main Event ticket + Step 6 ticket - worth $11,100
3rd--European Poker Tour prize package - worth $7,500
4th--SCOOP Main Event ticket + Step 6 ticket - worth $3,675
5th--Step 6 ticket - worth $2,100
6th--SCOOP Main Event ticket - worth $1,575
7th--$1,050 Tournament entry
8th--Step 5 ticket9th--$530 Tournament entry
10th-18th--$320 Tournament entry
19th-27th--$215 Tournament entry
28th-45th--$109 Tournament entry46th-100th--Step 3 ticket
Event #3 of WBCOOP kicks off later tonight. The 22:00ET event is an Omaha 8/b event and will award another 72 seats to the final.
Congrats to the first 142 Main Event players and good luck to everyone tonight

There was a good table crack as well. Thanks must go To Ukgatsby who was observing and chatting. It was his blog that made me aware of the WBCOOOP so i wouldn't have played in it if not for him so thanks. And if you've not read the blog you should..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Well i took my first punt at the World Blogger Championships of online poker yesterday playing the PLO qualifier. 450 entrants top 782 qualify for the final one 21st and top 45 or so get prizes. I was doing alright was above average with about 180 left running around 40th when i was dealt AAQQ clubs and diamonds. Flop came A 4 9 rainbow and i got the table big stack all in on the flop. He called with AKxx thinking he had aces witha king but ended up hitting runner runner for the flush. so many people playing hold em hands too strong in omaha.

I'm now an hour and a half into the 2nd qualifier (hold em). again top 72 qualify for the final and 45 get other prizes. Am 84th out of 251 with just above average stack..

Friday, December 12, 2008

Super Mario Bros

Well instead of playing poker i've found a great way of entertaining myself, type super mario bros into google and you can play mario 1, 2 and 3 from the old NES platform. How the hell i remember where all the warp zones and mushrooms are in beyond me seeing as the last time i played it was probably in 1990.

I watched Hancock and Batman Dark night recently which were both good, especially batman and went to see ocean colour scene that was a laugh. After oceon colour scene we ended up in Liquid a club in Norwich, fuck me it was funny... Now i'm not the greatest dancer but we were having a giggle at this bloke on the dancefloor and, i know this is wrong and you shouldn't laugh, but there was a women in a motorised wheel chair on the dancefloor and i'm sure the DJ put "spinning around" on on purpose... she was enjoying herself though which is the main thing but it was fucking funny...

I've registered for the pokerstars blogger tournament, i was useless in it last year but hopefully will do better this year, even though if i win i won't be able to go on the carribean adventure or an EPT but i could do with killing some time for 20 minutes before i get knocked out..

I was in town for councelling yesterday with my mum and she said "let's go to woolworths" as there's a big one in norwich at an out of town shopping centre. It was absolute chaos inside, and no wonder they're shutting down, everything in there is shit. I did check to see if the pick and mix was half price but it wasn't and they had hardly discounted the things you'd actually look for like DVD's, pick and mix, CD's, pick and Mix, PS3's and the pick and mix. My mum was going to buy some stationary but then saw the queue and though bollllllox to that.. I was going to ask someone if they had any jobs going but thought that would be mean

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

The WBCOOP is an online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers.

Registration code:



Monday, December 08, 2008

Bored Bored Bored

Well 've not updated for a bit, i've not really done anything of note to update about..

I've not heard anything new from court or my solicitor, i've not been able to find a job and it's getting to be a bad time of year to be looking. I have now been approved for job seekers allowance so £60.50 a week is now being paid directly into my mums account.

Am trying not to pay poker, my mates mansion account has dropped to about £70, some stupid beats and i think i'm playing so badly i just can't motivate myself to play.

I think i'm going to see Ocean Colour Scene at the UEA tonight which should be good!!

Apart from that just been sat at home doing nothing, i'm soooo bored... Right, its twenty past ten i think i'll eat some biscuits...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What a night....

Well i've just had a brilliant night. My friend Mike called me about five and said he'd managed to get 3 tickets for the Fratellis at the UEA for £20 and him and his brother Bobby would treat me. So of we went and had a storming night. I've not really been able to be myself since the arrest but i loved tonight, i was having a laugh with some girls stood around us before they started and was chatting indepth with a girl called Holly who i really liked and, not to sound to arrogant, i think liked me as i was really on form tonight. I didn't ask for her number or anything, to be honest i just felt good that i could have that conversation with someone as i haven't really been myself for a while.

Then the concert started....

So i am now sat just got home, my shirt is still on the stage at the UEA i think after some girl took it off and chucked it, i nearly got kicked out for crowd surfing, my shins have been kicked to shit and my jeans are ripped up the seam to me knee and i am slightly sweaty.... but it was a brilliant night, the concert was good but my good friends bobby and Mike helped me forget about everything thats going on, even if just for a night, and for that i am eternally gratefull x x

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Plodding along


Brilliant hand earlier on... There was this player critisizing everything (nice call etc etc) in a heads up game and i was playing hyper aggresive as usual.

I was dealt Kh Ah

Raise call

Flop - Ks 7s 2s

He bet and i pushed and he called with 4s 5s and he'd flopped the flush

"hahahahahahaha nice call iddiot" he was saying in the chat box
"reeetarrd hahahaha noob" he continued

Turn Kc

"nice play fissshhyy" he continued
"thanks for your$$$$$"

River Ac


I just sent - "Love you x x x x x x x x x"

And left

I've been doing alright today, mainly from being disciplined and concentrating (and a bit of luck as seen above). I've now played 31 $5 heads up STT and won 20 and lost 11 and won 2 out of 2 six seater $2 STT. I've stopped playing the double ups, in theory they're the same as heads up and i feel i can affect the outcome more obviously in the HU games and the 10 seaters take too long.

So I started with £100 of my mates money and now have £133 so £33 in 2 days i can live with. Statking is showing 4 hours of play at $5 HU STT with winnings of £26 (give or take you cant put in decimal places) at a winrate of £6.50 an hour.. However need far more sessions for an accurate summary

Anyway am off to watch united

Monday, November 24, 2008


Well the last few days on my mates Mansion account i've been messing around getting used to the skin and joining games that i thought looked ok so today i decided to start recording my results again and to start having a bit more discipline and concentrating more.

I started a new database in Statking and decided to play an hour of $5 heads up sit and goes and record the total win loss and keep doing that over loads of sessions to start generating hourly win rate etc etc. I'm also going to do the same with 6 seater $5 sit and goes and probably $5 10 seater double ups and again record the results.

I managed to get 7 games in the hour and won 5 and lost 2 for an hourly profit of £8.79. I'm not sure if he has rake back set up i'll have to check as i would have paid $3.50 in rake as well.. I don't take anything from these results as it's early days. If i'd lost the last game the profit would have been nearly nothing so i need loads of sessions to see what an accurate win rate is..

How many is beyond me though i suppose it's a work in progress..

On other terms i heard from my solicitor today and not much has happened in my case. Some other people have been arrested so it must be quite a big ongoing investigation. Hopefully i won't get pulled in for questioning again but i'm not sure, there's nothing i can tell them anyway..

I did have a laugh at the Governments way of helping us all financially by cutting VAT to 15%.. Does Alistair Darling not live in the real world?!?!?!

If someone was going to buy a table for instance that was £30 before it means it will go down to £28.46 saving £1.54 whcih i can tell you is really really really going to help alot of people, those table manufactureres are going to have a brilliant sales year...

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Well my sky has been cut off so i can no longer watch repeats of Top Gear on Dave :-((

My friend has said i can use his account on Mansion on the Ipoker network. I didn't like this platform at first but have adjusted it slightly and it's alright. Been playing $5 double up sit and goes mainly just for a bit of a laugh..

It's snowy in east anglia today so am snowed in... Who needs sky movies anyway when the empire strikes back is on ITV



Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My Crime....

Well i've been talking about concequences of what i've done and the message i got from cashbiatch on my previous post tells me i should say what i've done and then it may give people a better idea of the situation i'm in. It's funny i'm really ashamed of what it is which is why i tend not to mention it to people, but here goes...

My life was going really well up until January 07. I had a good job working for an american corporation, new house with my partner Kirsty who i loved dearly, poker going well though that isn't important and then this happened:

(3rd post down "Change")

Everything went downhill for me there really and didn't really notice it happening. I started going out more and got in with the wrong crowd and got into drugs. Over a long period of time work was getting badly affected and i was spending stupid amounts of money and alienating friends and family. It got to the stage in august when i was arrested in edinburgh with a load of class A on me and am now on bail pending trial. I told work exactly what had happened and they let me resign before they sacked me. I'm now in so much debt that i will be made bankrupt in the next few months and lose my house. I'm in regular councelling sessions trying to get to the bottom of why this all happened.

It's strange really, the charge is serious but i'm getting good character references, as it IS out of character. Everyone is saying they can't believe how i managed to get myself into this, i can't either, but that doesn't stop me from feeling that i've let everyone down, it's hardly a conversation you want to have with your mum is it??

I told my ex before she emigrated to Australia with her new boyfriend who she met whilst we were still together and after 8 years together she is refusing to do a single A4 page character reference as is her family. I would understand if i'd done anything wrong but i didn't, she left me for someone else..

So i have no money at the moment, which is why i need work. I don't know when i'll be in court, They have a year to prosecute so anytime up to august. I wish it was tommorrow i just want it over and done with.

It's funny, i've been going over my archives, i went through a stage of not playing and now i can't win at $1 heads up sit and go's!! Have i got really bad? Has the standard improved? Or i just not in the right place at the moment to be playing? I expect the latter... these posts in my archive cheered me up a bit though, i could do with the same now!!

Top two posts here, didn't end up going to the WSOP just took the $4k.. should have done really i doubt they'll let me in the states now..


I forgot this one.... !!

Monday, November 17, 2008

No Bankroll

Well i haven't a bank roll anymore... I don't like full tilt i've decided. Come to think of it i wish i had deposited onto Virgin, i feel more confortable there.I know in theory they're all the same but you do get attached to certain sites and i like Virgin. It's soon to be leaving boss for its own platform so it'll be interesting to see what it's like...

In personel terms, i signed on last week so am now getting £60 a week thats getting paid straight into my mums account as it'll be eaten up in mine. It's actually a sad state of affairs that i'm actually thinking about stacking shelves on a night shift in tesco when a month ago i was earning 36k with a brand new BMW company car, but I will get a high vis jacket at tesco..

I spoke to a couple of friends, one who owns a ham factory in Norwich that might have temporary work. I could have got a job with another friend who managers a branch of a finance office but you need to pass a credit check which i won't... I thought about getting bar work but my councellor said that wasn't a good idea..

I think my solicitor will call me tommorow, my mum called him for me to get him to call me as my phone's been cut off. He recently sent me a letter to sign saying i plead guilty so i need to know whether i still go to court to say i'm guilty or just for sentancing.. I also could do with knowing which prison i'll likely go to.. I'll be in court in edinburgh so probably there but hopefully i can get moved to Norwich...

I've been listening to loads of music lately so might sporadically post my top 10 songs at the moment, not neccasarily new songs just what i've been listening to:

1. Ash - Lose Control (B side not 1st track on 1977)
2. The Futureheads - Hounds of love
3. Enemy - Pressure
4. Wombats - Moving to New York
5. Journey - Don't stop believing
5. Black Kids - I'm Not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance
6. Ash - Kung Fu
7. Editors - Lights
8. Twang - Wideawake
9. Maximo Park - Books from Boxes
10. The Smiths - How soon is now

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I Fucking hate poker...

There's no skill involved at poker at all it's all bollocks... Fucking bollocks game:

Last 2 games, heads up:

Dealt 88

Flop 33 7. check, betr raise all in knowing i'd trapped and he had A7

Turn - K
River - Ace

Last Game - Dealt KK
Flat call
Raise Push he turns over 99

happy days

10,10,9, 5, 9

so supposedly i'd trapped and outplayed but keep getting fucked, its all bolloxs. These were higher buy in games too so am now at $15 bankroll

Can't be arsed anymore its all shite

Sunday, November 09, 2008


Well i sat down to play tonight and couldnt log onto my account.. weird... It turns out Full Tilt have cancelled my United113mark2 account as you can't have 2 accounts apparantly:

Hello, This message is to inform you that we have discovered a multiple account under the Player ID "United113mark2" which has now been closed. Your primary account, "United113", has been left open and you may continue using it to play as normal. For security reasons and per our site rules, we allow only one Full Tilt Poker account per player. Unfortunately, we cannot allow you to use any account other than your primary account. If you would like a full explanation of our site rules, please visit our website at: Please email us from the email address registered with your closed account to let us know if you would like the remaining funds transferred to your primary account or withdrawn to your payment processor. We thank you for playing at Full Tilt Poker and appreciate your understanding. If there's anything else that we can do for you, please let us know. Regards,


I'm not using the United113 account as i can't add or take money off it...

I emailed them back saying:

Why do you close the account with money and FPP on it and keep open the account with nothing in it?!?!? Surely if only 1 account is allowed, close the one thats not being used (United113) and keep open the account that's got money in it and is still being used??? (United113mark2) MAkes sense to me...

It really does make sense as well doesn't it... ?!?! idiots

Thursday, November 06, 2008


Well i had councelling today in Norwich which was quite tough really, we got on to speaking about things that were difficult for me such as my dads death but i suppose it's all to help and it'll help in the long run...

It was hard as i was distant when i came out which i think might have upset my mum and my sister a little bit but they have been really good with everything thats happened so I think they don't like seeing me like that...

I still haven't got a character reference from my ex, it doesn't seem likely now either as it seems her dad was stalling for time when i asked him and she's now emigrated to spain with her new boyfriend....

I was looking through some of my old photos and this one made me laugh, i drove all the way from Banbury to central London with my car like this:

Thanks Tony and Jo for that one.....
I played some Poker tonight, and after blog chat with Marky ( ) i pplayed some more of the Full Tilt Matrix games and some more heads up. I think my problem is that the money is on my mind too much if i play higher limits and am worried too much about losing so dont play as aggresive as normal. I think because of this i need to build my bankroll so a loss at higher limits doesnt dent it so much. I cleared my first $5 bonus from Full Tilt so am now in profit again... just...
Roll - $53.47

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Well after last night i calmed down and played a bit just now... It seems like Full Tilt reaches into you head and realises the mood you're in and decides to fuck you up even more... At one stage i really felt like i could hear the site laughing at me... So many well... outdraws is probably the technical term, but 3 times in 3 games having it all in by far the best of it and to be spppppankkkeed in everyone made my sick, to the point on the last one me throwing the coins i had in my hand against the wall... it's probably time to stop when that happens Mr.Tilt isn't it????

So with bankroll now standing at $23.04 i think i'll drop to $2 limits for a bit to boost it to $50 then the next step up is the $6 i've been playing.

It is sick though.. I was looking at my pokerstars sharkscope stats and it shows the following:

Games played Av Profit Av Stake Av R.O.I Total Profit
933 $2 $20 9% $2093

I looked at STT heads up $20 games on stars and won 273 and lost 174 which i didn't think was that bad?!?!

.....And now i'm getting spanked at $6 Heads up on Full Tilt...

I should clear the first $5 deposit bonus soon to add to the $23....

Will probably relax tonight, am quite tired as me my mum, sister and Suzy went on a boat trip to see the seals at Blakeney Point which was nice and i think my mum and sister will come over tonight for the united celtic game...

Am not going to play anymore tonight and will have to go to the job centre tommorrow and try and get a job, not sure what the prospects will be like though


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

What a Dickhead

Well thge C.A.B today said bankruptsy was the only option...

My sister came round this afternoon as her friend ~Suzy from Wakefield was coming down to stay and they're both staying at mine so we went out and i met up with my next door neighbour. I met up with her the other night and one thing led to another but she's currently in divorce proceedings with her husband.. I've lived next to them for nearly 5 years.... fuck me matt what are you fucking doing at the moment????? Jesus... So i feel unconfortable at home now, the only place i really had left...

I played for a bit tonight a bit drunk, pissed off in the wrong mood and as usual moved up limits top $11 heads up and spunked a load... Need to be sensible in fucking more ways then one incluyding my bankroll management...

Roll: $33

Monday, November 03, 2008

Off to a good start

Well i managed to get some money from the car boot sale which i basically just handed straight back to my mum.. I created a Full tilt account in her name under the username United113mark2 and deposited $50 to have a punt.

I started playing some of the STT matrix tournaments which are a bit weird. 6 people join but you play the same 6 people on 4 different tables getting paid to finish in the top 2 of each table but you also get points for knocking players out and outlasting players. It seemed like a good idea but got all a bit too complicated really. I then started playing some heads up STT which is my preferred game at $6 limits and won a bit but then had aces cracked twice all in preflop so now have a bankroll of $53.43. So i'm $3 which is poor but still a profit.

I have a meeting with the C.A.B tommorrow to discuss my debt level and i'm expecting them to recommend bankruptsy. I know it probably seems strange talking about that and playing poker in the same post, but it's hard having no money and being at home all the time as you can't afford to do anything or have means of transport and there's only so much pottering about and watching telly you can do, so at least i can take my mind of things for a bit and play a bit of poker at small limits and hopefully win a timy bit.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Gone already

Well the 6 euro's didnt last long, i've now used up all my FPP and Full tilt points as well so am waing till payday to see if

1. I get paid any money
2. I can add money to an account before Halifax, Barclays, Barclaycard, Barclay Loans, Southern Electric, Marbles, American Express, Morgan Stanley, Capital One, The Council Tax people, Vodafone, Friends Provident and Sky take their bit...


x x x

Friday, July 18, 2008


Well my life has been all over the place lately, my house is in norfolk but spend most of my time in banbury or fulham so haven't really played lately..

I can't bring myself to sit down for hours and play online at the moment.. I have played against freinds recently quite a lot and do really really well, they are all beginners so it is easy though..

I do enjoy that though so may start visiting local clubs for a bit of fun and see how i do xx

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


Well not posted for a while and not really played any poker so i thought i'd write about glastonbury last week.

It was brilliant as always, starting the weekend watching dynamo's rythm aces doing covers of spice girls and the who on a double bass was brilliant...

Friday saw the enemy, editors and thought rather than watch the kings of lyon or panic at the disco went to watch the stanton warriors which was superb. Saturday saw Jay-Z and simian mobile disco however my festival was nearly ruined as i walked close the the pyramid stage and heard a small amount of beautiful by james blunt..

will post more soon

Monday, March 03, 2008

The Worst Fold I Have Ever Seen!!!


This bloke useless and been raising with nothing all game so i thought i was ahead, i actually thought he'd put me all in on the turn..........

PokerStars Game #15705466424: Tournament #79496494, $11.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Match Round I, Level I (10/20) - 2008/03/03 - 05:29:46 (ET)Table '79496494 1' 2-max Seat #1 is the button

Seat 1: United113 (1290 in chips)
Seat 2: wake me up75 (1710 in chips)
United113: posts small blind 10
wake me up75: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to United113 [8d Ah]
United113: calls 10
wake me up75: raises 40 to 60
United113: calls 40*** FLOP *** [Js As Td]
wake me up75: bets 200
United113: calls 200*** TURN *** [Js As Td] [9h]
wake me up75: bets 1020
United113: calls 1020*** RIVER *** [Js As Td 9h] [2c]
wake me up75: checks United113: bets 10 and is all-in
wake me up75: folds
United113 collected 2560 from potUnited113: doesn't show hand *** SUMMARY ***Total pot 2560 Rake 0 Board [Js As Td 9h 2c]Seat 1: United113 (button) (small blind) collected (2560)Seat 2: wake me up75 (big blind) folded on the River

2560 Pot and he folds on the river for 10!!!!! I knew he was bluffing of course or drawing with the big turn bet, but how on earth can he fold the river for an extra 10?!?!?