Recently I've noticed that i have an inferiority complex and that if affects me quite a lot. I've always not taken myself very seriously and taken the piss out of myelf but it goes deeper than that. Take for example football on a sunday. I'm ok a football, not brilliant but i don't want to play most of the time as i think about what people will think of me when i do. When the ball gets played to me i'm always thinking "don't fuck it up" and then as i'mm thinking that, i normally do.
I never used to be like this i don't think. i used to be really confident talking to women and did really well but now i just think "why would they want to go out with me?" whenever i see or speak to someone i like so just don't bother. I know that alot of this is to do with the current situation i'm in, i just hope it doesn't stay like that when things get better.
When it comes to poker i think it affects me to. There's been alot of talk on blogs and the raise the river forum about psychology in poker. To be a winning player you need to have belief in you ability and just put the hours in and variance will kick in (as said in my last post). I haven't got 100% belief in my ability. I know i can win but still don't know if i make the right decisions 100% of the time and whether that will make me a winning player in the long run.
I'm starting work tomorrow at aviva and i'm hoping that being around people again and working and interacting will help me feel a bit better about myself then i do now.